In an exclusive interview, Danielle Laidley revealed her harrowing story of drugs, attempted suicide and hiding her true self from the world.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
She is now a confident transgender woman, and she says former teammates, coaches and AFL stars have helped her on her journey.<\/p>\n
Here are some of those stories.<\/p>\n
MICK MALTHOUSE<\/b><\/p>\n
The radio boxes at Marvel Stadium at Docklands are side-by-side, separated by thick glass.<\/p>\n
On June 24, Danielle is in the Triple M box sitting at the back. Next door is Mick Malthouse in the ABC box.<\/p>\n
Malthouse coached Danielle at West Coast and when he signed on as coach of Collingwood for the \u201999 season, he asked Danielle to join him as an assistant coach. Malthouse is a fatherly figure, although he and Danielle had not seen each other for several years.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne story encapsulates Michael Malthouse,\u201d she says. \u201cThat night we saw each other in the media centre at Marvel, I\u2019m in the Triple M box and he\u2019s next door. And I didn\u2019t see him. We\u2019re doing some pre-game stuff and I get a tap on the shoulder and it\u2019s Mick.<\/p>\n
\u201cI turn and there he is standing with his arms out and he says, \u2018Give me a hug\u2019. We had a hug and he said \u2018Gee, you\u2019re looking great, I\u2019m really proud of you\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s the type of person Mick Malthouse is. It filled me with joy.\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n
SCOTT WATTERS<\/b><\/p>\n
It\u2019s 2011, and Scott Watters is the newly appointed coach at St Kilda. Watters and Danielle were teammates at West Coast and an ambitious pact was made somewhere along their trails. If Watters or Danielle got a senior coaching job, the other would join as an assistant coach.<\/p>\n
Appointed to the role, Danielle would be Dean when he was the midfield coach and would be Danielle at every other possible situation.<\/p>\n
At the end of a messy Mad Monday at Port Melbourne Bowling Club in 2012 – Danielle was driving – drunken Saints big man Justin Koschitzke turns to her and asks: Are you a cross-dresser?<\/p>\n
\u201cAs a transgender person, to be labelled as a cross-dresser is quite indignant, because you\u2019re not,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
\u201cA cross-dresser is a person who likes to dress up in the clothes of the opposite sex, and it becomes a little bit of a fetish, a sexual thing, whereas transgender is not. It\u2019s never been a sexual thing for me. It\u2019s been times of peace and warmth and calmness, just to be myself.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo when I get asked that I get really annoyed. When he asked me, I said, \u2018Give me more credit than that, no I\u2019m not\u2019. And that was that.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut, you know, and this had been going on since before I played and coached obviously, but when it was always asked who was the gay footballer, I used to hear those conversations and I would run to the hills because I was scared that people would label me either gay or a cross-dresser or whatever.<\/p>\n
\u201cI used to run to the hills and think, \u2018Wait until you hear about me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Many people ask if you were gay? \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
A cross-dresser? \u201cThere\u2019s a few stories, Akermanis, Koschitzke, there\u2019s one story that\u2019s not in there from when I was at Carlton. That sent me spiralling in that moment.\u201d<\/p>\n
PREMIERSHIP REUNION<\/b><\/p>\n
Upstairs at Dimattina\u2019s in Lygon St, Carlton, a gang of premiership Kangaroos wait to greet Danielle at a dinner organised by former Kangaroo and friend, Mark Brayshaw.<\/p>\n
Archer, Blakey, Larkin, Crocker, Allison, Fairley and McDonald are in attendance.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s 2021, and it\u2019s a significant night of reconnecting.<\/p>\n
In the Uber, Danielle, wearing a long brown dress, films herself to help shed the anxiety.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve never been so nervous in my life,\u201d she says. \u201cI was in an Uber and I was sweating, and I\u2019m thinking, \u2018I can\u2019t do this, I can\u2019t do this, I\u2019ve got to go home\u2019. I got there and there were three or four people there already.<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember getting to the top of the stairs and this is where the humour comes into it, sort of breaks the ice, because I was nervous and so were the boys.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey don\u2019t know what to call you, don\u2019t know whether to shake your hand. One of them went to shake my hand and I knocked it away and said, \u2018Hey, give me a hug\u2019. Everyone had a laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere was a time when we were sitting down and eating and I got up to go to the toilet, and I turned and said, \u2018Don\u2019t you go looking at my arse, you boys\u2019.\u201d Everyone laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe night was something to behold. Yes, there were tears around the table, a lot of them mine, a lot of other people\u2019s, and to a person they just said we can see you\u2019re happy, we want you healthy and we want you to be here, so please make sure that happens.<\/p>\n
\u201cI did the same thing with a bunch of West Coast boys at Bluey McKenna\u2019s place.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust the empathy, warmth and care … I\u2019ve now reconnected with all these people. I\u2019ve spoken to more teammates and players I coached more in the past two years than I did in 20 years.\u201d <\/p>\n
Originally published as Danielle Laidley reveals moments of fear, inspiration as AFL stars helped her find true self<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n