‘We Are Not Boyfriends, We Are In A Boston Marriage, But Gay’ – Star Observer
It took years to work out a suitable ‘label’ for the kind of relationship that I have with my housemate / best mate / co-living co-habitee / wingman… occasional fuck buddy / flashy bait to lure in hot guys that are way out of my league!
The point is that, since we started hanging out and clarify to people / friends / family / acquaintances that we aren’t partners / boyfriends / husbands / romantically involved, we realise that NOT having a label seemed to totally flummox people because humans obviously have an insatiable need to place fellow humans in neat little boxes – all labelled clearly for public consumption.
But labelling our situation as a Boston Marriage (historically, the cohabitation of two wealthy women, financially independent), but gay, seemed to tick most of the boxes of what Robbie and I are to each other and suddenly people understood.
Skipping The Romanticism
Every single person, to my face at least, once they hear about the specifics of our situation applaud the enviable position that we find ourselves in.
This is mainly because as we have managed to skip over the romanticism ‘trap’ that so many fall into. We’ve been able to craft something seemingly unique for our situation. I have had my fill of long-term relationships and he only just discovered that he was in fact a gay man lurking in the bi-sexual cloakroom.
We were of two compatible personalities with the same views on what life is truly all about, not to mention, we have a house full of laughter and devoid of jealousy!
The Reality Of Post- Covid Lockdowns
While I’d hoped that promises we’d made to each other during those dark Covid days, when the world was seemingly falling down around us all and we only had each other to cling to, would be able to be kept when our situation inevitably changed again, realistically I knew that might not happen.
I fervently hoped that things would be able to evolve with us when those changes eventually came and as the national Covid fog ‘lifted’ (newsflash – it hasn’t).
Changes to our Boston Marriage have started to emerge and the reality of me lifting myself out of a not unsubstantial dose of agoraphobia, which merged with a three year period of self-imposed celibacy meant that it could end up being a messy situation!
Watch out for “Boston Marriage but Gay – Part 2” to see if it was all resolved!