Uncoupled highlights the mid-life crisis of a gay man dumped in his 40s – Opinion News , Firstpost – Firstpost

Darren Star, who created notable television shows like Sex and the City, Younger, and Emily in Paris, has another winner with the freshly minted ¬Uncoupled streaming on Netflix. The co-creator of Uncoupled is Jeffrey Richman, who has worked on Frasier, Modern Family, and Stark Raving Mad. Star and Richman make a great team. Both are openly gay, and their familiarity with the gay dating scene in New York City is put to good use in Uncoupled.

The show revolves around Michael, a gay real estate agent in Manhattan who is dumped by his partner Colin – a hedge fund manager – after 17 years of being together. Michael is hit by the news like a bolt of lightning when Colin makes the big reveal on his 50th birthday. The party meant to be a surprise for Colin ends up surprising Michael who has to now grapple with being single and alone. This is hard because Michael is in his mid-40s and the rules of dating have changed. He is not ready to fall in love again but he does want men to sleep with.

Actor Neil Patrick Harris, who is perhaps best known for playing Barney Stinson in the sitcom How I Met Your Mother (2005-2014), is the star attraction in Uncoupled. He brings sadness and sex appeal to the character of Michael, who is hopelessly entangled with Colin even after the latter moves out of their apartment to fulfill his need for space. Tuc Watkins, whom you might remember as Bob Hunter from the show Desperate Housewives, plays the emotionally stifled Colin who eventually realizes that leaving Michael was a big mistake.

When Colin leaves without offering an explanation, Michael is desperate for one. In the absence of any clues, Michael finds comfort in believing that he has been abandoned for a new lover. His fears are reinforced by Suzanne – played by Tisha Campbell – his colleague and straight best friend who is also a spunky single mother raising a son named Kai. Suzanne spots Colin with another man, and she hastily reports this sighting to Michael without verifying her facts. Of course, Michael is embarrassed when he learns that this is not true.

The show does a good job of exploring the emotions that a person goes through when a long-term relationship ends abruptly. Michael is lucky to have two gay friends who have been with him through thick and thin – television weatherman Billy (Emerson Books) and art dealer Stanley (Brooks Ashmanskas). They comfort him, listen to his rants, encourage him to date, take him on a skiing trip, and do not leave him even when he seems insufferable. It is refreshing to see their friendship celebrated without being sexualized; else, the show would have fed into the stereotype that the only friends gay men seek are friends with benefits.

Having been in a monogamous relationship for almost two decades, Michael takes time to warm up to the idea of hooking up with strangers via online dating. Once he takes the plunge, there is no looking back. The show makes it clear that white men with chiselled bodies fit quite neatly into the algorithm and aesthetic of desirability. One of Michael’s hook-ups is with a bisexual Italian businessman named Paolo who is visiting New York City and is looking for an apartment. Suzanne tries hard to seduce Paolo but he ends up liking Michael. The show does not address why Michael does not tell Suzanne about his night with Paolo.

Michael hooks up with two other men – a dermatologist named Josh, and a school teacher named Luke. The sex is great, and there is an emotional connection too, but the problem is that Colin is still very much on Michael’s mind. His unwillingness to let go makes him look for flaws in Josh and Luke. Uncoupled shows how debilitating a lack of closure can be. Michael is prepared to do couples counselling but Colin gives up after just one session. How do they eventually come together at the end of the show? Watch it to find out what happens.

One of my favourite characters in the show is Suzanne. Unfortunately, this Black woman is made to play second fiddle to Michael – a bit like realtor Seema (Sarita Choudhury) to Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) in Star’s reboot of Sex and the City called And Just Like That… I would have liked to know why Suzanne works in real estate, and how she happens to be Michael’s friend and colleague. He is so obsessed with himself that she has to constantly downplay her own concerns and challenges, and ensure that his feelings are taken care of.

Another memorable character is Claire, played by Marcia Gay Harden. She is getting a divorce from her husband of 28 years because he is now dating a much younger woman. Michael competes with Tyler (Nic Rouleau), another gay realtor, to bag Claire as a client. The chemistry between Claire and Michael is a delight to watch because both are sailing in the same boat since they have been left by their partners. Unlike Michael, Claire does not have any friends. She wants to do business with Michael but also needs him as a friend. Claire’s bonding with Suzanne is based on the fact that both are single women and mothers.

Unfortunately, the creators of Uncoupled are so besotted with Michael’s character that these women do not get the depth of characterization that they deserve. The actors playing Suzanne and Claire are excellent at their craft, and leave an impression despite the limited screen time. Colin is portrayed as cruel through much of the show, and is redeemed only at the end, but there are no significant insights into his mind and heart. He remains a sketchy character.

Michael and Colin remind me of two recent unhappy gay couples on screen – Simone and Paolo from Marco Simon Puccioni’s Italian film The Invisible Thread, and Stanford and Anthony from And Just Like That…What is different about Uncoupled is that there is a chance to fix things. A second season is likely because the eighth episode ends with Colin issuing an apology to Michael. It would be rather shocking if Michael does not accept it.

Uncoupled is mildly reminiscent of Doug Langway’s film Bear City and Eytan Fox’s film Sublet because these films too put the spotlight on experiences of older gay men looking for pleasure and companionship, trying to make sense of changes in gay dating culture, dealing with the insecurities that come along with ageing, and trying to preserve their self-esteem.

Uncoupled is streaming on Netflix

Chintan Girish Modi is a writer, journalist and educator who tweets @chintanwriting

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