LGBTQ Breaking News

LGBTQ Breaking News Service

Science

Opinion | Personal Stories About Coming Out – The New York Times

News Editor

To the Editor:

Re “My Christmas Gift to Myself: Pride,” by Charles M. Blow (column, Dec. 26):

Mr. Blow’s passionate and deeply personal column, telling us about his introducing his family to his male lover, is timeless in its significance.

He echoed a liberating drama I experienced 50 years ago when I made my gay announcement while appearing on a national television show, “The David Susskind Show.” I wanted to choreograph “coming out” as a positive event in my life.

Coming out is not a single act, done and over. New people, new experiences, new jobs, new locations, and you repeat the act of enlightenment over and over again. Sometimes the judgments are severe, but putting it forward as a loving and positive experience, as Mr. Blow did with eloquence, is part of the continuing education in America.

His column will provide a map for others, clearing a path that will enrich everyone touched by the truth.

David Rothenberg
New York

To the Editor:

Charles Blow brought me to tears today, as he often does. Much of his experience is not the same as mine, as a Jewish man from New York, older than he.

But he reminded me of a similar experience I had. When I came out as gay to my brother over 40 years ago, he asked, “Why are you telling me? Do you expect me to act surprised? I’m not. Do you expect me to treat you differently? I won’t. You’re still my brother and I love you.”

My brother and I have talked about that exchange since, and I enjoy telling others about it.

Mr. Blow’s family loves him and welcomes his partner. Love is love, and we are all stronger for it.

Jeffrey Forman
Miami Beach

To the Editor:

Mr. Blow, this column is one of your most poignant yet. I cried while reading your story because it mirrors mine in many ways.

I, too, come from a family that loves me ferociously but that took some time (years, in fact) to understand and integrate my homosexuality. We spent years not talking to one another, which, upon reflection today, still breaks my heart.

This year, many, many years later, I celebrated my nephew’s wedding and then Thanksgiving in California with my two sisters. It was a family love fest. It is all the more emotional since, 35 years ago, my “lifestyle” would have been considered a negative influence in front of my nieces and nephew. Now, they celebrate me and my husband without an ounce of reserve.

I am so proud of them for having shed their prejudices, deeply rooted in religion, and moving beyond what they were told to believe. They are proof positive that people can change.

Coming out when I was 18 in 1974 was hard, but I have never regretted it. We have to live our truth. I wouldn’t be the man I am today had I not come out in the mid-1970s. I am enormously grateful to that headstrong young man who said, screw it, I am who I am.

David Winters
Geneva

To the Editor:

Re “Republican Leaders Are Silent on Future Colleague’s Lies” (news article, Dec. 28):

It is certainly no mystery why the Republican leaders are silent over George Santos’s lies. Lying seems to be the order of the day.

Over 70 million people voted to re-elect President Donald Trump after witnessing four years of documented lies by him and his spokespeople, which were amplified by the nation’s most popular cable network.

It is no wonder that Mr. Santos could believe that “everyone does it,” and while reprehensible, there seem to be no repercussions for even the most flagrant liars.

Roy Goldman
Jacksonville Beach, Fla.

To the Editor:

Re “China’s Hospitals in ‘Tragic Battle’ As Covid Spreads” (front page, Dec. 28):

The news from China is dire: Some of its hospitals are on the brink of collapse because of a surge of Covid-19 patients, the rampant infection of medical staff, and inadequate supplies of oxygen and other lifesaving treatments. This, in part, because President Xi Jinping spurned superior western vaccinations, and made an all-in bet on his “zero Covid” strategy. China’s desperation may intensify into a tsunami.

Mr. Xi came to power in November 2012, determined to obliterate corruption and poverty, shepherd China’s economy into a position of world dominance and surpass the power of the United States. Mr. Xi has demonstrated at least two more interrelated obsessions: crush the aspirations and the spirit of the oppressed Uyghur population in response to violent unrest in 2013 and 2014, and avoid the loss of control of any territory.

Mr. Xi may have already sealed his own tragic fate. Even before this crisis, his crackdowns have not only made him a pariah to those who care about human rights, but they have also stifled Chinese innovators and tech businesses, and have spurred companies including Apple to scramble to develop manufacturing capacities in other countries.

As it turns out, Mr. Xi’s breathtaking hubris has an element of Shakespearean tragedy: The spark that lit the flame of the recent popular uprising that forced him to abandon his Covid strategy was a fire that killed Uyghurs who were unable to escape death because of lockdowns.

Mark Keller
Portland, Ore.

To the Editor:

Re “I.R.S. Delays Reporting Rule for Users of Apps Like Zelle” (news article, Dec. 24):

Many thanks to those who asked the I.R.S. to reconsider the blunt instrument it devised to collect taxes from sellers using third-party platforms. It would have caught up many seniors like myself, just trying to clean out the house and sell old professional clothing. Having 20-plus-year-old receipts to show that I didn’t make a profit on this stuff? Are they kidding? And the $600 reporting threshold? Is this another indication that they are not of the real world?

Can’t the smart professionals in information technology or artificial intelligence figure out a way to distinguish people just trying to clean out the old stuff from those actually making a living from a specific line of work or a rental property?

And really, why go after lower-income folks in the first place, when they are just trying to hold it together with a small amount of extra income in gig work? The I.R.S. gave a pass to a certain millionaire who should have been audited the first two years he was in office.

Even better would be to make the old threshold permanent, or at least make it more accommodating. Even $10,000, down from the current threshold of $20,000, would give enough room to accommodate most seniors, I think.

Jan Owens
Mount Pleasant, Wis.

To the Editor:

I found John McWhorter’s “When a Racist Joke Does Not Merit Cancellation” (Opinion, nytimes.com, Dec. 20) to be a refreshing read in our current cultural climate when so many people focus exclusively on impact and don’t allow any consideration of a person’s intent.

Ironically, in this thoughtful and forgiving article about language choices and mistakes, Mr. McWhorter uses the words “lame” and “dumb,” words considered by many to be ableist and offensive.

Let’s follow Mr. McWhorter’s own advice. Rather than cancel him and shut down his thought-provoking and insightful written commentary on language, let’s forgive him and assume he never got the memo. We’re all learning.

Jeannie Gainsburg
Rochester, N.Y.