Opinion: My journey from anti-gay activist to LGBTQ ally – Des Moines Register
Edward Kelly Jr.
I’m not what most folks expect an LGBTQ ally to look like. I’m a Vietnam vet and former minister. I was a Pentecostal evangelist for 25 years and a registered Republican for longer. For decades, courageous LGBTQ Iowans have organized for the state to recognize their rights — and in many of those fights, I actively opposed them.
My transformation has been a long time coming, but it’s clear to me now that all of us deserve the same fundamental freedoms, no matter who we are or who we love.
I moved to Iowa nearly 50 years ago, met my wife Rose, and raised my family here in Red Oak. As a younger man, I viewed the patriarchal family structure as pillars of the church and also the nation. In my mind, equality for women and LGBTQ people were linked — and I saw them both as a threat to my way of life, my view of myself, my community, and the country.
As a pastor in eastern Iowa in the mid-’90s, I believed LGBTQ people were the enemy. My anti-gay views spurred me to become involved in discriminatory campaigns that I now deeply regret. I urged my congregation to pass a rule prohibiting gay people from becoming members of the church. I also worked to oppose gay marriage on the state level.
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It was at this time that a personal crisis led to a transformation. Within a few years of serving as a pastor and becoming more heavily involved in anti-gay efforts across the state, I found myself in the midst of a deep depression and suicidal crisis unlike anything I had ever experienced. I got treatment, and began going to therapy. After some time, my therapist suggested that I examine my morals and my theology as a source of my suffering.
It was undeniable that something in my life needed to change, so I resigned as pastor and began soul-searching. I went back to school, took classes on theology, and returned to Scripture with fresh eyes. It was a difficult process. I looked back at the seven verses I had used to condemn homosexuality and realized I hade made a grevious error. Rigorous self examination and introspection transformed my perspective for the better. That’s a scary process, especially for a fundamentalist. Ultimately, I faced my fears and changed my thinking — and that’s when my behavior began to follow.
I started thinking about marriage equality and speaking out for LGTBQ Americans. There were LGBTQ people right here in town that I had ignored and excluded, simply because of who they were and who they loved. That needed to stop. One day, I went to get a haircut at a local barbershop that I had avoided for years because the owner was gay. We got to talking, and he turned out to be a nurse — like me. I could hear in his voice the empathy and care he had for his patients. In that moment, I realized that gay people were just the same as the rest of us.
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I wanted to be an ally, and begin making amends. In the years since, I’ve written and spoken many times about my transformation and the importance of equality for LGBTQ people. Several congregations have allowed me to preach about my journey. My family and I are no longer welcome at many churches because of my advocacy, but the Unitarian Universalist Church has welcomed us with open arms.
As a fundamentalist, I proudly called myself a Bible bigot from the pulpit. But the truth is, my religious freedom does not give me the right to discriminate against my fellow Americans. Today, I support nondiscrimination protections because of my faith, not in spite of it.
Jesus told us that the greatest commandment was to love, and that we should love our neighbors as ourselves. No matter our faith or politics, Americans believe in treating others as we want to be treated, including those who may seem different from us. We can all agree that everybody should be able to participate in all aspects of daily life with dignity and respect. Everyone should have the freedom to go about their daily lives — go into a store, check into a hotel, eat a meal at a restaurant — without fear of harassment or discrimination.
Momentum for LGBTQ equality is building and America is ready for Congress to pass clear, comprehensive, and secure nondiscrimination protections for LGBTQ Americans in all 50 states. The Equality Act would do that by updating federal law to include express and enduring protections for 13 million LGBTQ Americans across virtually every area of daily life. This legislation is critical, because 50% of LGBTQ people live in the 29 states that lack comprehensive statewide laws explicitly prohibiting discrimination against LGBTQ people. While 21 states and over 350 cities have passed LGBTQ nondiscrimination protections, the current patchwork of protections is unsustainable and leaves too many people behind.
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It’s time for Republicans and Democrats to come together to pass the Equality Act. Sens. Joni Ernst and Chuck Grassley should join their colleagues across the aisle and vote to support this common-sense law. They have an opportunity to show the nation what leadership can look like. They should take it.
Edward Kelly Jr. lives in Red Oak.