NRL news: Manly jersey furore, Corey Parker’s Rainbow Round call – Code

It truly pains me to think that within our game, those players still feel a need to hide.

That in 2022, they still feel a need to keep who they are to themselves, in fear of being judged, sledged or ridiculed.

Trying to make a living as a rugby league player is tough enough for a man or woman, on and off the field. It drains every ounce of your emotional resilience most weeks without having to deal with that bullshit.

Knowing this, it frustrates me that there are players who would be going home and putting their head on the pillow each night having felt unable to be themselves around their teammates, people they spend more time with than their own families; yet wondering if any of those teammates truly know them.

Those players are in our game. It would be naive and immature to think otherwise.

Yet Ian Roberts is the only player in more than a century of rugby league to openly come out. That was 27 years ago! Not one player since has felt comfortable following in his footsteps.

How sad.

As a society and a game, we’ve mostly changed with the times and managed to be inclusive of so much.

We spend many rounds of the NRL competition celebrating multiculturalism, our Indigenous brothers and sisters, Women in League. We raise funds for Beanies for Brain Cancer, we dig in and support regional areas negatively affected by natural disasters like fires and floods. And we do a bloody good job of it, something we all should be proud of.

Yet gay players and the LGBTQI+ community more broadly … that’s one group we’ve mostly left alone. One of the most marginalised in society.

Twenty-seven years since Ian Roberts.

Come on.

I can only speak for myself, but if a guy came out in my team and said, ‘I’m gay’, personally I wouldn’t give a shit. Good on you, I’d say.

I would feel happy for that person, applaud them, and look forward to a time when it was normalised to the point where I didn’t feel a need to congratulate the next one.

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I applaud the Manly Sea Eagles for making the decision to play in a pride jersey, despite how things have turned out.

Coach Des Hasler acknowledged that there was inadequate consultation beforehand with players and other key stakeholders, which he said was “a significant mistake made by the football club”.

“Sadly, this poor management … has caused significant confusion, discomfort and pain for many people. In particular, those groups whose human rights we were, in fact, attempting to support. We have even adversely affected our player group, a wonderful group of people comprising of many different racial and cultural backgrounds.”

As it stands, seven or more players are refusing to play with rainbow stripes on the jersey, on the basis of religious beliefs. The easy out there is for people to say, well, we respect their beliefs and culture. Box ticked.

But for mine, that’s a shallow view.

You want to stand up for your religious beliefs? Fine. Don’t run out in your gambling-sponsored jersey at your beer-sponsored stadium.

Don’t pick and choose what’s right and wrong when it suits, taking moral stands only when it doesn’t affect your lucrative NRL contract; especially when your decision impacts a lot of people besides yourself.

And how far does this public stance go?

If the young men who are refusing to play with rainbow stripes on a jersey later have a child who is born gay, do they disown them?

When the child is old enough and proudly Google their father’s name, only to read he took this stance at the height of his public influence, how do they feel?

That a parent or future parent could ever put themselves in that position in this day and age makes me mad. It has the potential to be very damaging, not just for their kids, but any young boy or girl working things out for themselves during the most sensitive time of their development.

I’m not religious and I don’t pretend to know the finer points of the beliefs and cultures at play. The Manly players in question are of Pacific Islands heritage.

But for mine, this isn’t a religious issue. It’s a societal, human rights issue.

Things are much different today to how they used to be in Australia; or at least, that should be the case.

Surely we’re past discriminating on the basis of things like sexuality, race and religion. Surely we’re easing up on the fire and brimstone. Surely we’re more aware than ever, with the rise of mental illness, that certain words and actions can be dangerously judgmental.

And honestly? I’ve seen players who would identify as deeply religious – Christian, Muslim, whatever it may be – drink, gamble, lie, cheat and steal with the best of them.

I don’t have a problem if you want to hold strong personal beliefs and live your life accordingly. Just don’t pick and choose what you think is right and wrong based on what suits you, when it suits you.

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We’ve got Women in League Round, we’ve got Indigenous Round and we’ve got Retro Round.

Why can’t we have Rainbow Round?

Seriously, why can’t we?

We’re always talking about growing as a game. This is the perfect opportunity to put words into action and grow. To acknowledge and welcome the LGBTQI+ community as people who can share a common love of rugby league.

As a high-profile Australian sport – the same applies to AFL and rugby union – we have an opportunity here to really take some steps forward and be a force for positive change.

Imagine the publicity and awareness that a Rainbow Round would generate for the NRL and NRLW. Imagine the strides that could be made in terms of understanding and acceptance, not just within rugby league but wider society.

For years, the NRL have had a float at Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. So come on: are we all-in on promoting ourselves as an inclusive game, or just dipping our toes in the water and doing media opps?

“One thing I take pride in in rugby league is that we treat everyone the same. We’re all human beings. It doesn’t matter what your colour is, what your sexual orientation or race is, we’re all equal,” ARL Commission chairman Peter V’landys said on Tuesday of the Sea Eagles situation.

“We’ll never, ever take a backward step in having our sport inclusive but, at the same time, we will not disrespect those players’ freedoms. If they don’t wish to play, then I respect that. They are well aware of our policy in inclusion and we take pride in that. That’s our stance at the moment.”

With football teams and clubs, I always think in terms of, ‘where we were, where we are and where we’re going’.

It’s the same with this issue. We have an opportunity to take stock of the past and present, then help lead our community into the future.

Imagine that we can help break remaining stigmas around homosexuality. That we can help end the cycle of gay people having to hide themselves away, and all the emotional damage that causes.

It would be groundbreaking. And sport has always been such a powerful force for such change.

There is no bigger voice in our game than the players. Their buy-in would be crucial.

And if you’re a player with certain beliefs, wearing a certain type of jersey isn’t going to change those beliefs, the same as listening to certain music or watching certain movies or TV shows wouldn’t.

For mine, if you don’t agree with something but are playing in a team sport that pays you a hell of a lot of money, you just suck it up and move on. Not for you personally, but for the greater good of your team and the game that provides you with such a decent livelihood.

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To be honest, the men’s game is so far behind women’s rugby league on this issue it’s not funny.

I’ve been working with a number of NRLW players ahead of their coming season and the girls are light years ahead in this space.

Differing sexuality is barely an issue; they just don’t care. They have open, honest conversations with each other that are entirely normal. It’s just second nature. They are truly inclusive.

It is a vastly different environment to men’s footy and for whatever reason, society also seems to have been quicker to accept and celebrate same-sex relationships in the women’s game.

Remember that Women’s State of Origin game in 2018? After full-time, Queensland’s Karina Brown and NSW’s Vanessa Foliaki (who were partners) shared a kiss that was photographed. The picture went viral and for the most part, it was received as a wonderful moment.

Australian Jillaroos captain Ali Brigginshaw and her wife Kate Daly after the 2018 NRLW grand final? Front and back page of The Courier Mail.

“I’ve never been one to hide my affection,” Brigginshaw said of the post-match celebration. “She’s the person I love … I have her here and I’m not going to say, ‘I can’t show you affection at the game’.

“It’s hard being away playing rugby league all the time, I’m away from home a lot, but having Kate here today allows her to see how hard I work. Also, little girls might grow up to love the same sex and I want them to see they don’t need to be ashamed of it. I walk around the street holding Kate’s hand because I’m not ashamed of it.”

That was four years ago.

It’s time for all of us to grow up a little bit and start being kinder to one another. To have acute awareness about how marginalising people feels, even if it’s not your initial intention.

Our world is changing all the time and society is changing with it.

We need to continue to change as a game, to grow and innovate and do all the things that we’ve always prided ourselves on.

We need to make players and fans welcome regardless of sexual orientation.

The time is now.