New York state public high school silences gay student & role model – Los Angeles Blade

By James Finn | SYRACUSE – When 17-year-old Tyler Johnson walked into Tully High School near Syracuse, New York yesterday morning, he felt anxious and unwelcome in the building. He was afraid of a talk he had to have with Principal Mike O’Brien, who’d just forbidden him to come out as gay in a school publication, had forbidden him to share how he’d overcome bullying and depression that caused him severe mental and physical health problems as an early teen. As Tyler walked the halls, he heard words of encouragement.

“Tully needed you!” shouted one kid.

Still, Tyler was aware of an undercurrent of disapproval from his conservative upstate New York community, and he was scared about how the day would turn out.

Thus continued a roller coaster of acceptance/rejection that began Thursday and continued late into yesterday evening. Tyler’s story is too similar to stories of LGBTQ youth across the U.S. It’s a powerful reminder of important work that remains to be done, and of the importance of heroes.

It all started when Tyler was selected to be honored then got censored

Tully High School administrators publish a monthly newsletter; each issue features a “Senior Spotlight” highlighting one outstanding student, who answers a series of questions in an interview format. Tyler was thrilled to be selected as January’s Senior Spotlight.

In the TikTok video embedded below, you can listen to one of his answers:

So I answered truthfully with the biggest challenge I’d had to overcome: The biggest challenge I faced was growing up gay and coming out. I had to learn how to become comfortable in my own skin and how to stay strong through bullying and all the negative experiences I had while trying to navigate through life.

@_tylerrayjohnson_ so my school is homophobic 😛 #gay #gayteen #highschool #foryoupage #fypシ #discriminacion ♬ original sound – Tyler

Shortly after Tyler submitted his answers, Principal O’Brien pulled him aside and told him he would have to rewrite. Tyler paraphrases O’Brien like this: “You’re such a unique student, such a positive face in our community. We want you in the Spotlight, but you can’t say you’re gay or that overcoming bullying is your accomplishment.”

O’Brien explained that district policy does not allow mention of “sexuality, orientation, religion, or illegal drugs,” in the Senior Spotlight.

O’Brien was lying, but more on that in a moment.

Tyler refused to rewrite or allow his answer to be omitted, saying he’d rather not be honored than have his truths silenced. His mother , Pamela Custer, called O’Brien on the phone to stand up for her son, but the principal would not change his mind, repeating (untruthfully) that he could not go against formal district policy.

Community support exploded after Tyler’s video caught fire

Tyler posted his TikTok Thursday evening, by Friday morning, it had over 5,000 views, and his phone blew up with messages of support, including a text message from the president of the Tully Board of Education, who told Tyler she believed what was happening to him was wrong.

Early Friday morning, after a colleague tipped me off, I emailed Tyler asking for an interview. He responded immediately, saying he appreciated any help he could get, not just for himself but for other LGBTQ students at Tully and elsewhere, many of them still closeted, who deserve respect and support.

By the time Tyler and I spoke in the afternoon, he was thrilled. He’d had another meeting with Principal O’Brien, who told Tyler he was sorry he didn’t feel welcome, that he supported LGBTQ students, approved of the GSA (Gender and Sexual Alliance) club that Tyler and other students are forming. He said he had arranged a change to or an exception from district policy and that Tyler’s full answers would be published in a future Senior Spotlight, though not in January’s, since a different student had already taken Tyler’s place.

Then the rollercoaster took another dive

I was all set to write a supportive “hero’s tale” about Tyler, highlighting him as a positive force educating people (even educators) about the need for LGBTQ equality. Tyler is outgoing, cheerful, articulate, and persuasive. Not many students would have found the courage and capacity to challenge censorship and homophobia the way he did. He’s a leader setting an outstanding example. That’s worth a story all on its own!

But he and his mom Pam called me last night with more of the story, which is less positive and has Tyler anxious again. He’s nervous about going to school on Monday, and for good reason.

Let me back up.

When Tyler wrote that he overcame bullying and depression, he wasn’t kidding. Pam filled me on the details, and Tyler has given me permission to share them. When he was an early teen living in West Virginia, he struggled to come to grips with being gay. He was closeted to everyone, sometimes even denying the truth to himself, but he was bullied anyway, taunted for presenting as less than traditionally masculine.

He became so depressed that he was hospitalized several times, doctors searching in vain for physical explanations for severe, ongoing stomach pain. I asked Tyler if he ever became suicidal during that period and he said no, not to the level of planning anything, but he thought about it. He thought about how it would be easier just not to exist.

Pam was beside herself. She packed the family up and moved to upstate New York to give Tyler a fresh start. It worked. At Tully High in 10th grade, he developed a close-knit group of friends. He came out as gay a little at a time, he found support, and he got better. He credits the Tully community for that in many ways.

When I ask him if his school is supportive of LGBTQ kids, he praises teachers, fellow students, and much of the staff. But each time I ask if he considers his school environment supportive, he hesitates. His voice catches. He pauses.

I ask him what that’s about.

He tells me he’s one of the only out gay kids in school, that he knows many closeted students are afraid to come out. He knows two out trans kids at school and gives them major props for their courage, which his tone of voice tells me is a level of courage beyond ordinary.

He explains he’s lucky to be outgoing and have a great group of friends, but he knows he’s the exception. I tell him I know what he means as I think about how shy I was in high school and how I never would have found the courage to come out, let alone to be a leader or challenge a staff member.

I think about how Tyler has to face the fact that Principal O’Brien lied to him, that for the rest of his time at Tully High will have to wonder what that means.

No district policies prevented O’Brien from printing Tyler’s answer

That’s what Tyler and Pam called to tell me last night, and that’s what I mean by rollercoaster. They learned from a confidential source that Principal O’Brien invented the so-called district policy prohibiting mentions of “sexuality, orientation, religion, or illegal drugs” in the Senior Spotlight. (It turns out religion is sometimes heavily featured anyway.) They say O’Brien phoned District Superintendent Robert J. Hughes to ask if and how he could remove Tyler’s answer about being gay and overcoming bullying. The two of them invented a non-existent policy, then O’Brien lied to Tyler about its existence.

Knowing that, Tyler says he is once again feeling unwelcome in the building. He also says he’s determined to be “the last student this ever happens to.” He says isn’t trying to make life difficult for O’Brien or Hughes, but says they must be held accountable for what they did. (Which civil rights lawyers tell me is likely a violation of New York State Education law and federal Title IX civil rights law.)

Tyler’s biggest concern is that he doesn’t understand the two men’s motivation. Why did they want his voice silenced? Why did they not want him to come out as gay? Why did they not want him to write about overcoming bullying? He supposes that since no actual district policy motivated them, they must have something personal against LGBTQ people.

Tully censors LGBTQ staff as well

He and his mother Pam tell me they want O’Brien and Hughes to issue formal, public apologies as a form of insurance that nothing like this ever happens again, and as encouragement to other LGBTQ students and staff. Insurance is needed. Tyler learned this morning that the district forced the Tully Elementary School social worker to remove mention of his husband from the bio he submitted to them, even though many straight teachers and staff mentioned husbands and wives in their bios.

How are LGBTQ students supposed to have role models?

If gay staff are forbidden to say they have husbands, and if LGBTQ students are forbidden to write about their identities and struggles, then who are closeted, struggling LGBTQ students supposed to look up to? If merely existing as LGBTQ is too shameful or “controversial” to mention, aren’t students learning terrible lessons?

Queer kids learn they’re less than, and cis/straight kids learn it’s OK to treat them that way. Those are the lessons O’Brien and Hughes colluded to teach, and while it’s wonderful they changed their mind in Tyler’s case, it looks like they only did so because his TikTok blew up and they were afraid of bad publicity.

What are they doing when they think nobody’s watching? What do they do when kids less assertive and outgoing than Tyler end up in their offices?

LGBTQ rights are human rights. LGBTQ people are human beings who deserve voices, role models, representation, and honesty. Thank you, Tyler Johnson, for fighting to give a voice to the voiceless.

********************

**********************

The preceding article was previously published by Prism & Pen– Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling and is republished by permission.

Favorite