N.J.’s new sex ed standards hit the classroom as criticism rages in some districts – NJ.com
The battle over New Jersey’s new sex education standards flared in Haddonfield last month when parents were handed envelopes as they dropped off their children on the first full day of classes at the district’s three elementary schools.
Unnamed adults handed out the envelopes labeled “Concerned about what YOUR children are learning in Haddonfield schools? Look inside. (For parents only).”
But one gay parent guessed what was inside and handed the envelope back immediately.
“I said, ‘We are a gay family. No thank you,’” the parent said.
The envelope contained a three-page letter under the header “Sexual material has been seeping into Haddonfield schools,” according to a parent’s copy. It included complaints about teaching children about masturbation and oral sex and about “LGBTQ material throughout all grades.” It also alleged two school libraries in the Camden County district contain a book about a transgender child.
As October begins, officials said most of New Jersey’s 600-plus school districts had implemented the revised sexual education standards with no problem. But confrontations have played out in a handful of districts, where parents and school boards have pushed back or rejected the curriculum altogether.
State officials, the state school boards association, and the largest teachers union had no estimates for the number of districts that have taken action against the new standards, though news reports show fewer than a dozen have.
The Sussex-Wantage school board passed a resolution asking for revisions to the standards, and Montague, Jackson, and Garwood have also opposed them. Lakewood and Middletown school boards voted to have families opt into sex education rather than opt out. And East Hanover vowed to teach all its sex education material on the last half day of school.
“For the overwhelming majority of the districts, the standards are being adopted by the school board after candid conversations about how they might be implemented in their schools,” said Rich Bozza, executive director of the New Jersey Association of School Administrators.
The State Board of Education adopted the standards uneventfully in 2020. Still, they became a lightning rod in April when curriculum materials discussed in Westfield drew broad attention from conservative lawmakers and news sources.
The standards serve as a guide for school districts to teach sex education. But each district sets the curriculum used for instruction.
The standards mandate that:
- By the end of the second grade, students should understand the ways people express their gender and how gender-role stereotypes may limit behavior;
- Fifth graders learn about romantic and sexual feelings, masturbation, mood swings, and the timing of puberty;
- And eighth graders should know the definitions of vaginal, oral, and anal sex and identify short and long-term contraception and safer sex methods.
But under state law, families can opt students out of sex education classes by writing a note to their school principal stating that the instruction “conflicts with their conscience or sincerely held moral or religious beliefs.” The principal’s approval is not required.
Fights over the standards have broken out at school board meetings, in parks, online, and on numerous Facebook pages. Last month, about 100 people joined a rally against the standards, among other topics, in Ocean City. In response, students launched an “LGBTQ STUDENTS BELONG” at Ocean City High School petition that gained almost 5,000 signatures.
At state Board of Education meetings and Education Committee meetings in the state Legislature, groups representing families have charged that schools are overstepping parents’ rights to educate their children about sex and related topics. Lawmakers have sent out e-blasts.
“Parents and local communities deserve to know if Gov. Murphy is going to send the sex police into their school districts to punish those who stand in opposition to the concerning state mandates,” state Sen. Joe Pennacchio, R-Morris, said. He said he heard “one lie after another” as part of a “sexual indoctrination agenda.”
Lizandaa Alburg, associate director in the professional development and instructional issues division of the New Jersey Education Association, the teachers union, emphasized that each district chooses its lessons.
“We have every reason to believe districts are helping their staff understand the standards and the age-appropriate ways to incorporate them,” she said. “Curriculum is not one-size-fits-all,” she said. “It’s important that each community needs to reflect on the culture there.”
Millstone Township schools have left some controversial topics to parents to teach at home. For example, the fifth-grade Family Life curriculum will teach about the timing of puberty and mood swings, but parents will address masturbation and sexual feelings during an at-home lesson. Meanwhile, Toms River and Marlboro postponed some lessons until children were older, or left some topics to be taught at home.
Late last month, the state Department of Education said districts must implement the standards or face disciplinary action, possibly through its compliance monitoring system. The state can put noncompliant districts on an improvement plan, which could result in closer state monitoring or intervention. The department’s statement made no mention of fines or other punishment.
Recently, researchers at the Rutgers Eagleton Center for Public Interest Polling issued a survey showing widespread approval of sex education in middle and high school and mixed support in elementary school. Their poll showed 71% of state residents favored sex education in middle school and 88% favored it in high school. For elementary schools, 51% oppose it, and 46% support it.
Eva Goldfarb, a professor of public health at Montclair State University, has seen similar sentiment over the decades and across the country.
She said the perception of parental opposition and concerns “is so much greater than it actually is.”
“This is part of a national movement that is looking like a local New Jersey movement,” she said. “If you look at the arguments being made, they match almost identically Florida’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill, and bills in Ohio, and Tucker Carlson talking about New Jersey.”
Last year, she and her colleague Lisa Lieberman outlined the benefits of comprehensive sex education in an overview of three decades of research. They concluded such education helped prevent child sex abuse and dating and intimate partner violence, helped students develop healthy relationships, and increased media literacy.
New Jersey’s standards are based on science and research, Lieberman said.
“When parents are concerned, it’s typically based on misinformation they’re hearing, and when you actually see what the schools are teaching, it’s not even close to that,” she said. She urged parents to find out what schools teach and demand appropriate sex education.
“By not getting it to them, they’re actually putting young people at greater risk of abuse, of being exploited, and putting them at risk for all sorts of harassment and bullying,” she said. “We’re actually making our children less safe and more vulnerable by excluding it.”
Back in Haddonfield, parents opened their mysterious envelopes on Sept. 8 and found an alternate form for families to opt their children out of exposure to sex education, social and emotional learning classes, discussions of systemic racism, and referrals to counselors for discussing sexuality.
There was also an option withholding parental consent to a student’s exposure to “Displays related to sexual activity or sexuality of any kind and by any name whatsoever, including but not limited to flags, posters, billboards, wording, etc.”
In an interview, the parent who spoke to the adult handing out pamphlets said they grew up around hate in another state and were surprised to see it in a town that has been so supportive and welcoming.
“My family, how are we a threat?” they asked. “We shouldn’t be alright with this.”
Later on Sept. 8, the superintendent, board president, and heads of the administrators association and teachers union issued a statement calling the information in the envelopes “intentionally misleading and inflammatory” and “shared for the sole purpose of spreading doubt and fear.” They offered links to the health curriculum, denied teaching critical race theory, and said the district would not use the opt-out form.
NJ Advance Media staff writer Brianna Kudisch contributed to this report.
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Tina Kelley may be reached at tkelley@njadvancemedia.com.