‘My religious family kicked me out for being gay – I’m now having the last laugh’ – The Mirror

A drag queen who was kicked out by his ultra religious family after coming out as gay has told of how they’re “laughing all the way to the bank now”.

Originally from Bradford, Lady Bushra – also known as Amir – now lives in Manchester with husband Aamir and ventured into the world of drag and comedy just two years ago.

But in 2021, she was shortlisted for the BBC New Comedy Award, which boasts previous nominees such as Joe Lycett, Romesh Ranganathan, Sarah Millican and Tez Ilyas.

Her drag persona Bushra comes from Amir wanting to pay homage to his South Asian heritage, something often overlooked in not only the LGBTQ+ and drag communities, but also in comedy.

“I come from an ultra-orthodox Muslim family and quite a conservative household,” Bushra told Manchester Evening News.

“The character is very honest and organic as she does reflect some of the experiences I’ve had growing up in a small town in Bradford. Lady Bushra is one of those boisterous girls that everyone knows – every culture and city has their own version of her.”

Growing up, Bushra never had a persona like her to look up to.

“When I was younger, people would bully me and I had to experience a lot of racial abuse,” Busha explains. “I started feeling embarrassed of who I am and what I’m about.

“I’ve since learnt that my heritage is my strength.

“I have a unique position where I am British but I am of a south Asian background and I’ve found a way of being able to tap into that. When you’re confident in knowing who you are, people are drawn into that confidence, and that’s something I’ve come to realise.”

But when Amir came out as gay to his family – seven years ago – at the age of 25, the experience was sadly not a positive one.

“I don’t have a relationship with my family these days,” the performer explains.

“They kicked me out as a result of being gay and I haven’t had any contact with them since then, really. But I’m the one laughing all the way to the bank now.

“It was like death by a thousand papercuts. After university, I started getting a lot of pressure from my family to marry. When I came back home, they were putting that pressure on me and I just told them that the reason I didn’t want to marry is because I was gay.

“Over time, it was like a slow snowball of deception. There is a limit, and I eventually reached that point. They might have kicked me out but I’ve since learnt that it’s in my best interests to stay away. I think it’s quite a profound way of looking at it, really.”

Through discovering drag and finding her husband – who she met through a mutual friend in 2014 – Bushra has learnt that authenticity is the way forward in life.

Bushra explains: “Doing me and being my authentic self has been the only logical way to deal with things. I tend to find that not everyone has the ability to find their true calling.

“Too many times I see people within my community doing things while fearing what people will say.

“I’m not here for Brownie points with toxic people and I’m pleased that, as a gay south Asian man, I’m able to say I’ve dismantled that and can do whatever makes me happy. It’s worked well for me so far.”

The couple wed in 2019 and hold the title as the first South Asian gay couple to get married in Bradford.

A year later they moved to Manchester. The couple also host their own You Don’t Love Me podcast where they discuss their perspective as a gay South Asian couple. To date, they’ve recorded more than 80 episodes on everything from Ramadan to beauty standards.

“I firmly believe the universe conspires,” Bushra laughs about the couple moving to the city-region.

“We fancied moving to a bigger city but Manchester was never something on my radar at all. Despite that, it was one of the best decisions we ever made. It’s such a welcoming, open city.

“The drag scene here is fantastic and it’s a lot of fun. I’m happy to be a part of Manchester now.”

In the last year, Bushra has performed at Manchester Pride – and will perform again this year – alongside events in London and Cardiff and even further afield in Prague, Berlin and Budapest. She says she loves getting the chance to surprise people during her cabaret shows.

Among her skits, footage Bushra appearing head-to-toe in a black burka before ripping off the traditional garment to reveal an impersonation of Boris Johnson beneath has since gone viral.

“Drag is a very varied art form and people sometimes forget that,” she explains.

“Bushra is certainly very varied – there’s not many places you’ll see Boris Johnson dancing to Lady Gaga.”

Going forward, Bushra wants to continue to perform their cabaret show – which is currently touring the country – and do stand-up when the opportunity arises.

“I feel there’s a tiny gap in the market for Bushra to slide through with her nimble shoulders,” she says.

“Coming to a Lady Bushra show is like entertainment on acid, you’ll have a fabulous time. It’s absolutely chaotic but in the best possible way.”

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