Mum gives daughter’s number to man without her consent because she can’t accept that she’s gay – indy100
A teenage girl was left angry and frustrated after her mum gave her number to a boy despite knowing she was gay.
The 17-year-old said she was spending the day by the pool when her mother noticed the “guy” was “looking” at her.
Her mum responded by giving him her phone number, “which prompted him to come talk to me,” the furious teen explained in a Reddit post.
After begrudgingly spending “hours” with the young man, she and her mum finally left the pool, at which point she let out her feelings of rage and humiliation.
The girl explained: “She embarrassed me and she went against what I told her in confidence. I came out to her a while ago and it’s been in open conversation since, yet she still did this.”
The Redditor went on: “She told me I’m probably not certain yet, [which is why] she did this stupid thing.
“But the reason I told her is because I am certain.”
The 17-year-old said that they spent the car journey home arguing, prompting her mother to call up her dad and complain about her behaviour.
The teenager was so angry, she snatched the phone and hung up, explaining: “I just didn’t want her to lie about me to my dad anymore than she was doing.”
She added that the fallout had left her in a lot of trouble, with her mum confiscating certain things from her and banning her from hanging out with her friends for a week.
But when she asked fellow users of the platform if she had acted like an “a**hole” for defending herself, the response was a resounding “no”.
Reader’s flocked to condemn the mother’s response
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Reader’s flocked to condemn the mother’s response
(r/AmItheAsshole/u/valleymesa4)
Readers flocked to defend the girl’s actions, with a number branding the mother a “homophobe.”
Addressing the original poster (OP), one Redditor wrote: “Your mom doesn’t have your back and doesn’t support your sexuality. She’s giving your number to guys because she’s hoping that being gay is just a phase and you’ll ‘snap out of it for the right guy’. Whether she realises it or not, your mom is homophobic.”
They added: “You need to get her to understand that regardless of whether she respects your autonomy about which gender you find attractive, giving your number out to strangers is just plain dangerous.”
Scores of other users shared their concern, with another commenting: “Somebody needs to have a serious talk with your mom, that it is not safe or okay, to give your phone number out to strangers.
“Even if she doesn’t respect your sexuality, she needs to respect your safety and not give out your personal info.”
A number of commentators requested more background info, with one asking: “Why is your mother so happy that some random smuck was checking you out when you were just trying to enjoy the pool?
“And why is she giving out your personal contact info when it sounds like you are a minor? Mom needs to stop playing wingman.”
The teenager replied: “I am 17. She wants me to be in a relationship I guess. I’ve been single forever but not because of lack of opportunity. The reasons for why I haven’t dated before should be obvious to her but she doesn’t seem to care about them.”
She added that her mother’s “reasoning” was that she should try being in a relationship “so I can see who I am.”
The teen said her mum ‘doesn’t think I know who I am’
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The teen said her mum ‘doesn’t think I know who I am’
(Getty Images/iStockphoto)
One person seemed to share the mum’s perspective, writing: “You are a child, yes? Your mum did it all wrong, but she might not be wrong in her view.”
In a lengthy response, they explained: “My daughter was gay at age 10, bi (bisexual) at age 11, and no one knows what she is (including herself) at age 12.
“I suspect she will be straight and it is peer pressure and social media / internet that has caused her confused feelings. Or at least how those feelings are explained.
“There was a time when children grew up loving their friends, but it was not called gay or bi, it was simply friendship. As they grew they experimented and came out the other side of this time period knowing who they were.
“But nowadays, it’s all announced to everyone from the earliest opportunity that ‘I am this, or that, and YOU MUST BELIEVE ME’.
“Truth is, as a child, you have no real informed idea what you are, and your feelings and views may well change. This is normal.”
They ended their impassioned monologue: “You are a child and you have very little idea how your feelings will develop, because they are still developing.”
“Good luck, I do hope you find a way to deal with this, together with your parents.”
The teenager replied in no uncertain terms: “I’m 17 and will be 18 soon. I know who I am.”