Madrid: Denounce your hate Valor Christian – The Denver Post
Valor Christian High School has hit the headlines as of late for dominating in 5A sports, but also for waving a proverbial anti-LGBTQ banner for all current and potential students, teachers, and employees to see.
The school does not embrace, love, and respect all as its leaders have stated, especially not students, families, or coaches who misalign with their anti-gay beliefs.
Valor has pushed out two LGBTQ athletic coaches within a year. Inoke Tonga, a devout Christian and openly gay man in August. And Lauren Benner, 2019 school coach of the year and the girls’ lacrosse head coach who lost her job in spring 2020.
Both faced similar interrogations with intrusive questioning about their sexuality and intimate relationships. They were asked to denounce their sexuality to keep their jobs. In other words, turn straight for pay. Convert or leave.
“My jaw was on the floor in disbelief,” Brenner wrote in an Instagram post. “I felt like I had just gone through a time travel machine that shot me back 50 years.”
This regressive ideology leaves toxic stress in the student body. It reinforces that it’s not safe to be gay. Examples of stigma, discrimination, and bias like these are detrimental to LGBTQ youth. This has the potential to deteriorate the mental health of students.
A protective tool deployed by LGBTQ people is pride. There’s power in embracing your authentic self. It’s the strongest weapon to defeat bigotry’s hate and embrace divine joy.
Take it from Keely Antonio, a Valor class of 2018 alum, who is out and proud now but was not in high school.
“I gotta be honest when I was there, during that time, I don’t think I would have been comfortable doing that,” Antonio told The Denver Post.
Surviving high school has led her to a life of helping others. Now she helps to empower LGBTQ+ adults. She partnered and co-created Coming Out Happy with her girlfriend, Dani Max. The coaching duo helps others reconnect with their authentic selves.
Antonio was happy to learn that Tonga and Brenner chose to live their truth over her alma mater.
“I’m so proud that they are standing up for what they feel is right,” she said. “It gives me chills and brings tears to my eyes.”
The former coaches had the power to walk away with pride. But what about the students who are stuck in an institution that torments them. Classmates, allies, parents and alumni came together to show support.
“My obligation as someone called to love others as the Lord does is to speak out against bigotry and stand up,” Lucy Sarkissian a current student said.
The coaches’ dismissals sparked others to break the silence. Cole Watson, a 2018 alumni, started collecting statements online from survivors of Valor’s anti-LGBTQ culture.
“This has to change, and I’m hoping that sharing these stories can help catalyze it,” he said.
The online document has grown to 15 pages long and captures over a decade of incidents. It’s filled with anonymous and attributed statements. Together they describe a hellscape for LGBTQ students at Valor. It reveals the school’s history of discriminatory culture and harmful conditions.
“This school pushed me to suicidal ideation, and it took me YEARS to recover,” Watson wrote about his own experience.
Maxwell Wolf, a bisexual and trans alum, shares about the abuse survived at home and school.
“I have deep and lasting trauma as a result of Valor’s treatment,” Wolf’s statement said. “I was deeply depressed and suicidal because I was hopeless.”
“They failed me as a school, as Christians, and as people,” Wolf continued.
Educational institutions whether public or private have no right to damage young people. LGBTQ youth deserve safer spaces in all schools, including religious ones.
Antonio believes LGBTQ people have the right to divine and beautiful purpose.
“This life is short and you deserve to create a life that feels good and aligned with who you are,” she said.
LGBTQ youth deserve to be all three if they want. Christian, gay and alive.
Tonga agreed in a recent social media post with a rainbow background. He asked for people to pray together, to fight for one another and console each other during the hard times.
“The best way to get our message across is to lead fervently with love,” he said.
LGBTQ+ students, family members and alumni have demonstrated fervent love and acceptance, the type Jesus Christ embodied.
Religious leaders take note. The sermon is in session, and this is how you live your value.
Mimi Madrid is a Denver-raised writer who has worked in non-profits serving youth, LGBTQ, and Latinx communities.
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