Ladakh with fellow gay men – Condé Nast Traveller India
It was day three of a six-day road trip around Ladakh and there I was trading embarrassing dating stories with a group of gay men I barely knew, barring one. And he too, then, was a passing acquaintance. There were gin and tonics flowing and there was the setting. We were seated in an apple orchard in the picturesque Nubra Valley on a crisp summer evening in July. A calming breeze was blowing and the gurgle of the silvery Shyok river was perceptible. And there we were, the ten of us cackling and commiserating over our individual experiences that everyone recognised and identified with—much of it not fit to publish. What was going on?
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I had heard of Serene Journeys, a Delhi-based, gay-owned luxury travel company, through a friend. They organise trips (for individuals and groups) around India for LGBTQIA+ people, their friends, families and allies. To places like Sariska, Kovalam, and Hampi. Compared to the West where such itineraries take in local experiences of particular interest to LGBTQIA+ community, these tours are ‘regular’. There’s no local queer scene to be explored and the tour itself is not advertised as having elements that make it ‘gay’. No drag kings and queens performing nor rainbow banners being unfurled on the tops of mountains. So, I was all the more intrigued by what went down on such a trip. What was it like to travel openly, with a rainbow-tagged travel company, where hotel staff, drivers and guides knew one’s sexuality without us announcing it? Only over the past decade or so has India’s queer community been granted some rights under law and become more visible. Social acceptance in most parts of Indian society is still a distant dream. So, why were folx signing up?
With these thoughts in mind, I signed up for a road trip around Ladakh. The tour included visits to monasteries in Shey and Diskit, quad-biking, camel rides in Hunder, overnight camping on the shores of Pangong Tso and Tso Moriri lakes, and a memorable eight-course Ladakhi meal at the home of a chef who is revisiting age-old recipes. Weeks before the trip, we’d received mailers on what to pack and prepare for (say, altitude sickness), and after we’d landed, a quick talk on social norms, dos and don’ts (such as avoid PDA; it’s considered inappropriate even for heterosexual couples). “I’ve worked with our tourism partners and made them aware of the kind of travellers we bring,” said Robindro Saikhom, Serene Journey’s founder. So, hotel staff, drivers and guides are vetted for their queer-friendliness and where needed, a little hand holding and education has paved the way. “But it’s also important to know the culture of the place we’re visiting and to respect them,” he added. It’s this attention to details that Saikhom says has ensured they’ve not had an untoward incident since he started the company in 2013. I should quickly add here that at no point on the trip did we encounter any eye-rolling or questionable behaviour.
I finally met my group of travellers over evening coffee at that briefing, on the lawns of the Yarab Tso Hotel in Leh, where we were staying. It was diverse by age–between 23 and 67–and nationality. There were four expats, including Mexico’s Ambassador to India, a high-ranking American diplomat, and an Indian-American author and film festival curator from New York. There were three Indian tech professionals from Delhi, plus Saikhom and I. A few of them were acquainted with each other. But we had somehow, quickly, gone from strangers to this boisterous group that appeared to have a solid bond—trading life stories, ribbing each other, haggling together at antique shops and skipping some sights to hang back with someone whose oxygen levels had plummeted.