Kristen Kish on Getting Gay Married and Launching a Soju Brand – Them

Cooking at home and cooking on television are two very different things, even for professional chefs. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to cook like I did on Top Chef with that nth gear of speed. I don’t know what it was. I’m not going to have it unless I do that again, because it comes out of nowhere.

Right, because after being eliminated, you were on Last Chance Kitchen, where you were fighting for your life. So I’m sure that specific pressure also pushed you in ways that may have surprised you.

Sometimes I try to place myself back in that moment in time. I was feeling all the things, and I also can’t pinpoint exactly what I was feeling. I remember before we stepped on camera every single day, I felt like I was going to throw up everywhere, and my hands would shake. Then I remember what it would feel like when I would win. It’s this sense of validation. When I got kicked off, it was a mix of relief, but also like, “Oh no, I’m going to get my way back in there.” It was kind of all a blur, to be honest. It all happened very, very fast. But I will say, I was the calmest cooking in the finale because I was like, “Well, I’ve made it here, whatever happens is going to happen.”

A year after you won Top Chef, you posted a picture with your partner at the time, which was framed as a “coming out.” Was that a conscious decision for you? 

It was a conscious decision, but I also wasn’t really thinking about it. I was like, “Oh, I’m just going to post this picture on Instagram.” [At that time,] I didn’t really think people cared. I had like 15,000 followers or something. But I just posted like anyone else would. Then apparently, people cared, which I found really surprising. Then I was out and just living my life.

But yes, I’m now married. Marriage was this thing that I didn’t ever think I wanted. I was like, “Fuck the institution of marriage, how dare they say I can’t get married, I don’t want to play into this bullshit.” That kind of thing. I was very angry. Then I was like, “Wait, why am I being so angry? If I want to get married, and I’m allowed to get married and have the love that I want, why not do that?” I don’t have to [refuse] it out of spite. Obviously, that was a discussion, and we decided that getting married was the thing that felt the most right.