Internet Backs Man Refusing to Share Inheritance With Estranged Gay Sister – Newsweek

A man said in a now-viral post that he doesn’t want to share his inheritance with his sister after years of estrangement.

Posting to Reddit‘s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum under the username u/tigerprawns123, the man said he and his sister were close as children. However, his sister cut contact with him and their parents after graduating high school because their parents didn’t react well to her being gay. Now, nearly two decades later, he’s made contact with his sister, but she doesn’t want to make up for lost time—she only wants to discuss the inheritance.

The post amassed over 9,000 upvotes and nearly 3,000 comments from Redditors who felt u/tigerprawns123 is justified in not wanting to share his inheritance with his sister. But experts told Newsweek that talking about and splitting the inheritance could be a way for u/tigerprawns123 to reconcile with his sister.

The Story

In his post, u/tigerprawns123 said it was “hard” for him to lose his sister, as she “used to look after” him and “encouraged [him] to talk to girls and go beyond [his] social circle.”

He tried contacting his sister multiple times throughout the years, but he was met with “radio silence,” so he eventually gave up.

“I blamed my parents for this and resented them for a long time,” u/tigerprawns123 wrote. “But we made up when my mother was diagnosed with cancer six years ago, and she passed away a year later.”

u/tigerprawns123’s relationship with his father only got stronger after his mom passed. So, his father drew up a will and bequeathed all this property to u/tigerprawns123.

“About a month after [my father] passed away, my sister contacted me for the first time in years, hoping to have a chat,” u/tigerprawns123 said. “I thought she wanted to mend fences…but as soon as we met, she mentioned the inheritance and wanted her share.”

Upset that his sister didn’t want to repair their relationship, u/tigerprawns123 chose not to split the inheritance. Now, he feels “terrible.”

In the comments section of his post, he asked: “Was it wrong for me to deny her because she abandoned me and never gave me a proper reason?”

What the Experts Say

Dr. Geoffrey Greif, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work, believes u/tigerprawns123 should split the inheritance with his sister because it was their parents’ “close-mindedness” that drove her away. He also said doing this could “open up the chance for a reconciliation.”

“I think it is wrong to refuse her what would be given to her if she had not been open and then rejected. It is their parents’ close-mindedness that pushed her away,” Greif told Newsweek. “Why shouldn’t she have access to what has been denied her due to their prejudice about her sexual orientation?…if he shares it, it also might open up the chance for a reconciliation—which can send a powerful message to either of their children (if they have them) about the importance of forgiveness and family relationships.”

Dr. Karen Gail Lewis, a sibling therapist, also said the inheritance provides u/tigerprawns123 with an opportunity to reconcile with his sister. However, she said reconciliation can only be reached if both siblings “come together” and recognize that their parents “hurt” both of them with the will.

“You’d think that both [siblings] would be saying, ‘How can mom and dad do this [to us]?'” Lewis told Newsweek. “But it’s only when siblings can come together and understand that they both are being affected, both are being ‘hurt’ by the deceased parent” that they can reconnect.

To do this, Lewis advises both siblings to sit down together and say, “Look at what [our parents] did to us. They put us in this position, and that’s not fair because we loved each other.”

Redditors React

Despite what the experts have to say, many Redditors feel u/tigerprawns123 is right to deny his sister part of their parents’ inheritance.

“NTA [not the a**hole] on the basis that she regained contact for the sole purpose of asking for money after cutting contact with the family. whether or not her reasons for cutting contact were justified (and yes, she was justified in cutting parental contact, but she included you who was blameless), the fact remains the inheritance is yours to do with as you please,” u/mohagthemoocow said.

u/notemilydickenson added: “NTA—you made multiple efforts to reconnect with her over years, which she showed no interest in. She only contacted you for the money, and I don’t blame you for your choice.”

Newsweek has reached out to u/tigerprawns123 for comment.

More Viral Posts

A couple stirred an online debate last month after admitting that they refused to pay their son’s college tuition after he came out as gay.

Redditors backed a teen who, also last month, said she reached out to her biological father after she learned she was the product of an affair.

And in mid-September, commenters backed a man who told his younger siblings about their mother’s secret affair, causing them to hate her.

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