‘I came out to my parents in the 2021 census’ – Telegraph.co.uk
“I’d come out to her,” members of Gen Z have been quipping on social media over the past fortnight. They’re talking about the census, not mum or a mate.
The 2021 UK census was historic for many reasons, not least it arriving in the Covid era, forcing it to move online.
It also marked the first time sexuality and gender identity questions have appeared in the once-a-decade national survey, a step cherished by the LGBT community.
Scores of young people have seized this moment as an icebreaker to properly come out to their parents, sparing them the fabled ‘sit-down chat’ that many LGBT youths spend much of their teenage years bracing for.
Emilie Lavinia, 30, from London, has been openly queer since she was 15. She had never discussed her identity with her parents – until the 2021 census came along.
“I filled out the census with my parents and my brother in the room,” she says. “They all know I’m queer but we’d never actually discussed my identity face to face.
“Just being able to tick that box and then discuss its importance with my family was a big deal for me.
“I had quite a negative experience when coming out when I was a teenager, so I’ve always kept that part of myself and conversations about my queerness quite private when it comes to work and family.
“It felt good to know I had a choice to speak about these things frankly after I’d completed the census.”
A quick look at Twitter would suggest she is far from alone. “Just came out as gay to the Office of National Statistics,” one user wrote.
A parent replied: “Congratulations. My daughter came out to as queer to us and the ONS today, couldn’t be prouder.”
Another user tweeted: “My mum sat with me while I filled out my census 2021 form thing and saw me check the ‘bisexual’ box, so I guess this counts as coming out.
“Never felt the need to come out… but at least she has a definitive answer now.”
A fourth user recalled: “Literal transcript of my coming out whilst filling out the census: -Dad: ‘so for sexuality, straight?’ -Me: ‘actually, no…, bi’ -Dad: ‘oh, really?’ -me: “yup” -Dad: “okay, next, what religion?”
“This is not the coming out I thought I’d have.”
On their section of the online family census form, some LGBT people ticked the sexuality and gender boxes honestly in the hope that their parents would notice.
Others dropped the hint via text to parents filling it out on their behalf, or ordered an individual survey so they could log their identity anonymously, without their family knowing.
For 17-year-old James Cooper, the census was simply a chance to become reconciled with his identity.
“It felt like quite a big moment filling out the sexuality question, like I came out a while ago but now it’s like fully official, according to government data, there is someone gay at our house,” the Essex teenager says.
“I think it’s important that we have the sexuality question on the census because a lot of areas have MPs who vote against LGBTQ+ rights and issues.
“Having a knowledge that their area has a LGBTQ+ demographic could help to change that.”
In a sign of the challenges ahead, the sexuality and gender additions to this year’s census attracted plenty of controversy.
Following a legal challenge by a women’s rights group, the Office for National Statistics was ordered in the High Court to withdraw guidance allowing transgender people to self-identify as male or female on the census by the sex listed on their passport, which can be changed without a legal procedure.
A similar legal challenge is brewing in Scotland, where the National Records of Scotland has postponed its census until next year because of the pandemic.
But many LGBT people are hopeful that their visibility in the census marks the start of a wider change.
Nancy Kelley, Chief Executive at Stonewall, says: “The March 2021 Census was a historic moment for LGBT+ communities, including for the first time two new voluntary questions on sexual orientation and trans status. This means that the census will, for the first time, collect an accurate picture of the size and make-up of the LGBT+ population in Britain.
“For far too long, our community has been a hidden population. Collecting this vital data ensures that researchers, policymakers, service providers and community organisations are able to understand the needs of LGBT+ people and develop tailored services to help us be treated fairly and achieve our potential.”
Emilie Lavinia agrees. “Official documents should all be inclusive. Erasing or denying visibility for some groups of people and not others, misrepresents the reality and dynamics of a society,” she says.
“We all deserve the basic option to be ourselves and to be seen and acknowledged.”