How To Support The Mental Health Of LGBTQ+ Kids In Your Life Right Now, According To Experts – Forbes

1. Educate Yourself

By reading this article, you are already supporting LGBTQ+ kids by learning more about the specific obstacles they face, but both experts say that one’s education shouldn’t stop here. “There are so many resources out there for people,” says Dr. Zeshan. Specifically, he recommends checking out the following resources:

• Gay and Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN): This non-profit was founded by teachers and is committed to ensuring that LGBTQ+ students have a safe place to learn. Search for a chapter near you or contact them to start one in your area.
• Genders and Sexualities Alliance (GSA) Network:  The GSA Network offers trainings in schools and communities and has many educational resources on their site.
• It Gets Better Project:  This global non-profit creates media programming as well as community-based programs pertaining to LGBTQ+ education and support. Their website has many videos featuring experts as well as gay, lesbian, bi, transgender and queer youth.
• Healthychildren.org: Created by the American Academy of Pediatrics, this non-profit isn’t solely focused on LGBTQ+ issues, but they do have many helpful articles, including ways parents can promote healthy gender development in their children and information for parents of LGBTQ+ teens.

2. Avoid Shaming

“The best way to show support to LGBTQ+ kids is to be supportive,” says Dr. Khazan. She explains that because identifying as LGBTQ+ can be taboo in our culture, there’s a good chance that the child is feeling alone, ashamed and hesitant to open up to you. Because of that, she says if and when they do, it’s important to listen and to not put them down or tell them that they’re “just confused.”

For parents, Dr. Zeshan says having an open discussion with their child without trying to shame them, make them feel guilty or like they have to hide their identity is important in terms of helping them feel accepted.

When an LGBTQ+ child feels rejected by their family, it’s especially damaging, adds Dr. Khazan. “Attachment is one of the most important foundations for development, and your parents are the first people someone is typically bonded with,” she says, explaining that parental rejection can disrupt the development process.

“When a child feels that the most important people in their life sees them as broken or doesn’t accept them, it’s devastating and shatters their ability to be resilient,” she adds.

3. Treat Them the Way You Would Treat Any Child

Kids just want to feel “normal,” and a major way to show support to LGBTQ+ kids is to treat them as you would other children, according to Dr. Khazan. You can do this by showing interest in what they’re interested in and also praising them when they are good at something to build their confidence—just as you may with a child who doesn’t identify as non-LGBTQ+, she adds.

4. Provide LGBTQ+ Representation

Reading books and watching movies or TV shows with LGBTQ+ characters will help the child you’re supporting feel represented. Read Brightly has a list of books for youth and teens and non-profit OK2bMe has a list of all forms of media to look into.

5. Advocate When necessary

Since kids who identify as LGBTQ+ are at a greater risk of being bullied, Dr. Zeshan encourages parents to advocate for their child, when necessary. “A parent can help their child file a complaint with the school if they are facing discrimination or harrassment there,” he says, adding that this will hold the school accountable to anti-bullying rules in place.

But before lodging an official complaint, Dr. Khazan says a parent should talk with their child to make sure it’s what they want to do. “Some children are scared that speaking up will just make the bullying worse,” she says. “It’s important for the parent to not go behind the child’s back and do something, but to come up with a plan together.” She adds that seeing a family counselor can be helpful in talking through the options together.

6. Allow the Child to Come Out on Their Timeline

“Coming out” is often a process, says both Dr. Zeshan and Dr. Khazan. A child may feel comfortable with certain people knowing their orientation, gender or identity, but may not be ready to tell others just yet. Both say that the best way to show support is to let the child guide the timeline of who they want to tell and when.

If you and the LGBTQ+ kid in your life are planning on going to an event where they may not be accepted by everyone (like a family reunion with relatives that may not be accepting), Dr. Zeshan says it’s best to have a conversation with the child beforehand about what they might encounter. “You can share any concerns, the child can share theirs and you can brainstorm ideas together about the best way to [navigate the situation],” says Dr. Zeshan.

7. Seek Out Supportive Health Care Providers

Both experts say there are simple ways a parent of an LGBTQ+ kid can find physical and mental health providers who will be affirming of their child. Both say that mental health providers who are supportive of LGBTQ+ kids often use affirming language on their website, something to be on the lookout for. For physical health providers, Dr. Zeshan says that GLMA has a helpful database of providers, and adds that you should not underestimate the power of word of mouth.

The statistics relating to LGBTQ+ youth and suicide prove just how important it is to support LGBTQ+ kids. Having just one supportive and loving adult in their lives can make all the difference—and there’s no reason that adult can’t be you. Even if you don’t know an LGBTQ+ child personally, the way you talk about LGBTQ+ issues plays a role in shaping society and whether or not it will be one of acceptance or rejection.