Gay Men Open Up About Talking Dirty During Sex – Star Observer
In favour of dirty talk during sex? Maybe complete silence is for you? A happy combination of both?
Recently, the subject was brought up by a curious Redditor in the AskGayMen thread on Reddit.
Explaining that he does not believe it is for him, the Redditor wrote, “I feel like I’m not this type of guy and I think my boyfriend likes it. When I do it I feel like I’m just playing a role, like it’s not me. I have to do a huge effort for doing it I also feel I can’t enjoy as much because I have to prepare every sentence. Once I felt so much pressure because this guy was saying a lot of stuff and I was like: Ok? And? Haha I almost said: Shut up and let me do my job here hahaa It was awkward af.”
Verbalising, Small Talk, or Silence
Of course, many responded and were all too happy to offer perspectives and opinions.
One user shared, “If someone told me ‘shut up and let me do my job’ that would be hot af to me lol”
Another comment said, “We usually like talking about the weather during sex.”
One user went into more detail, explaining, “Dirty talk doesn’t have to be a conversation. Sometimes it’s descriptive (‘Suck that d**k’), sometimes it’s instructive (‘Go deeper’), sometimes it’s affirmative (‘That ass feels amazing’).
“Sometimes questions aren’t really meant to be questions (‘You like that?’ meaning ‘I want you to like that’). Sometimes I’m so in the moment that I’m just sort of verbalizing/saying whatever.
“At the same time, being totally silent is kind of a version of ‘starfishing’ for me. I don’t need female-pornstar levels of over-the-top screaming and ‘ooh babys,’ but give me some grunts, groans, something! It doesn’t need to be constant throughout sex, but some guys are just way too quiet.”
Presents A Challenge For Relationships
According to another comment, a user revealed that he hates dirty talk but his partner “loves it,” which adds a “challenge” to their sex life.
The Redditor explained, “My boyfriend loves it, I hate it 95% of the time. I can enjoy specific types when I’m in just the right mood, but not at the frequency he would like. It’s presented a challenge in our (otherwise very good) sex life that we are still working to navigate. I can’t get fully into what I’m doing if I’m embarrassed so the question becomes, do you want me to talk dirty or do you want me to cum? Because you can only pick one.”