Gay guys recall really awkward sexual encounters that left them … – Queerty
Laughter is not something one initially thinks about in connection with sex. Getting an attack of the giggles can kill the mood. However, sometimes things don’t go as planned.
A recent posting in the AskGayBrosOver30 subreddit asked guys to come up with their funniest sexual encounters. There was no shortage of responses.
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“After sex. After already lighting the cigarettes and just laying in each other’s arms, quiet, just enjoying the after-sex bliss,” began one man. “The bed frame cracks and the whole bed drops to the floor. We laughed so hard we had to run to the bathroom to pee.”
Sex toys, especially if left somewhere, can be mortifying.
“My ex brought sex toys on vacation,” said another. “We were using some of them at this b&b we were staying at and well, we forget to pack them and left them on the bed when we left. We realized we forgot them when we got home.”
One man’s noisy sexual encounter aroused the interest of others.
“Someone called from the hotel room next door asking to join,” he recounted. He didn’t divulge if he and his partner extended an invitation to the horny neighbor.
Some people like to be choked during sex. But not this sort of choking.
“Just a few days ago my husband and I were enjoying each other,” said one man. “When I started to cum he leaned forward to kiss me and his necklace came undone and the charm he wears fell right down my throat! I was laughing and choking and spurting all at the same time.”
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Bodily functions were behind several answers. Tales of accidentally shooting a load in someone’s eyes or puking during a blowjob were not uncommon.
One Reddditor remembered a special moment with his significant other: “Laying in bed, with my head on his chest, really sweet moment… My boyfriend is jerking off and shot his load. It happened to fire directly and expertly up my nose. I was smelling spunk for about two days.”
Farting during rimming also happens more than you may realize.
“An ex farted while I was rimming him. I gagged, and he laughed. It was like 10 years ago, I swear some days I can still taste it,” recounted another guy.
Doggy style
Pets can sometimes throw a spanner into the works.
“I was getting f*cked from behind and the guy smacked my ass loudly enough that my dog got up to intervene (she was too old to get aggressive, she was just making sure I was ok),” said one proud pooch owner.
Another had an encounter with a devoted cat lover.
“Former f*ckbuddy, in his bed, missionary, me on my back and he had just got going,” he recalled. “His cat strolls in and sits on the pillow next to my head. He made some comment about two pussies for the price of one and I broke up into loud laughter which caused the cat to run off.
“I got seriously scolded: ‘You should never laugh at a cat, it upsets them’. He abandoned me to comfort the cat. I went off the boil so dressed, stuck my head around the sitting room door and said ‘I really didn’t mean to upset your friend so I’ll leave you to comfort pussy, see ya’. He phoned the next day and we laughed about it.”
The influence of online porn has unquestionably shaped the bedroom behavior of many guys. Sometimes with unintentionally comic results.
“My funniest experience was when my then-boyfriend, who tended to be really submissive in bed, tried to switch things up and hesitantly said ‘that’s good … my dog’ when I was blowing him,” remembered another man. “It felt so out of place that we both burst out laughing.”
Do you have any tales of your own to add to the mix?