From picnic to parade: Pride in Ottawa has come a long way – Ottawa Citizen

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Durjoy Rahman faced an uncertain — possibly extremely dangerous — future four years ago, when he was outed as gay in the South Asian, largely Muslim, country he called home, where not only is homosexuality a crime, but where those within the community are typically shunned even by family and friends. Two friends of his were murdered for attempting to organize a Pride parade, and Rahman very much feared for his life.

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So, sponsored by Capital Rainbow Refuge, an Ottawa-based not-for-profit organization that helps LGBTQ+ people in other countries immigrate to, and settle in, Ottawa and Eastern Ontario, Rahman fled to Canada, where he discovered a completely different climate — not just the snow and freezing rain, but a generally warm openness to his sexuality.

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And in having the yoke of oppression lifted from his shoulders, he discovered the person he feels he was meant to be all along.

“It’s like I’m a free bird who can fly wherever I want, and be proud of who I am,” the 29-year-old says.

“I’m so grateful to be here and grateful for every Canadian who supports Capital Rainbow Refuge and their work to help people who are being persecuted, who fear for their life or hide themselves from being who they are.”

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During his first couple of years in Ottawa, shyness and a reluctance to appear in photographs kept Rahman from attending Pride Week events, while during the last two years, the COVID-19 pandemic has kept everyone from gathering. Now a nurse at the Élisabeth Bruyère Hospital, he was able to switch his Sunday work shift so he can join the parade, capping off eight days of Capital Pride events.

“I’ve never attended something like this before, and it feels wonderful to be celebrating like a family — not just the LGBTQ+ community, but supporters, volunteers and parents celebrating together, having fun and giving support.

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“And we need support,” he adds. “It gives us the confidence to fly and not be ashamed to show our colours.

“So I think it’s fantastic to be here.”

The fact that Rahman can attend and celebrate this week’s Capital Pride Week events and parade owes so much to those who came before and fought for that right. And in some ways, says Kerry Beckett, the shape and size of the parade have mirrored that struggle and the public’s acceptance.

Beckett has attended just about every Pride parade in Ottawa, going back to the first one in 1989, when, she says, it consisted of only one hundred or so people with some banners and maybe one or two floats on a single lane of Elgin Street, with supportive onlookers using the cover of a sidewalk patio brunch spot — the Mayflower restaurant, for example — from which to quietly watch.

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“They would be there for the parade,” recalls Beckett, “but they wouldn’t have to actually say ‘I’m going to the gay parade.’ They wouldn’t have to explain why they were there; they were just going for brunch.”

Prior to that, Gay Pride Day was celebrated at a picnic at Strathcona Park, with tables and booths offering educational material.

The second Gay Pride Parade, in 1990, almost didn’t happen, after city council tried to rescind its proclamation announcing June 17 as Gay Pride Day when it discovered that the date also marked Father’s Day. “I don’t have to like gays and lesbians,” Britannia alderman Jim Jones said at the time. “I just have to not discriminate against them… Why do we have to have a special day for gays and lesbians?”

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But an Ontario Supreme Court judge ruled against council’s motion to rescind the proclamation, and the parade went ahead, and “For one brief day,” the Ottawa Citizen wrote on its front page, “Ottawa will catch a glimpse of the city’s most mysterious subculture — the gay community.”

Since then, the parade has grown to include tens of thousands of participants and spectators, many wearing lavish costumes and on intricately decorated floats. On Monday, outgoing and openly gay Somerset ward councillor Catherine McKenney described the Pride parade as their “gay Christmas.”

Beckett agrees. “I don’t want to go to the Santa Claus parade,” she says. “I want to go to the Pride parade because that’s where my people are.”

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The parade, Beckett notes, has always been, and remains, about protest. “But back then, it was sort of like, ‘You don’t like me, but I don’t care. We’re having fun.’”

It has grown immensely over the years, she adds, its familiarity causing less emphasis to be put on education.

“Because you’ve pretty much seen us forever,” Beckett says, “and now, I think it’s on par with any entertainment there is. It’s no longer about people trying to learn about us or accept us or hate us. It’s a big celebration. We are the new Santa Claus parade. And there are hundreds and hundreds of us on the side cheering. They’re laughing and whooping it up and doing flags and screaming and yelling at us.

“It’s moved away from the educational part, or the acceptance part, and now it’s just entertaining, for us and for you.”

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Meanwhile, Durjoy Rahman will proudly join other LGBTQ+ members at the very front of Sunday’s parade, on Capital Rainbow Refuge’s float, with many others who, like him, will be taking part in their first such parade after leaving countries where such celebrations are impossible.

“We’ve come a long way,” says Lisa Hébert, board chair and one of the founders of Capital Rainbow Refuge. “We’ve become a much more welcoming place than we were, and I’m so proud to be able to share the humanity and the equality that we have with so many people.

“It’s wonderful to be able to make a difference in the world,” she adds. “We can do better and do more, but it’s great to celebrate where we’ve come and who we are, and share love.”

Visit capitalpride.ca for more information.

bdeachman@postmedia.com