Encircle boosters hopeful as new Ogden LGBTQ center nears completion – Standard-Examiner

PLEASANT VIEW — Growing up, wrestling with his sexuality, Alex Hadley-Hone had nowhere to turn for help, for understanding, for information.

“It just got so helpless, hopeless,” he said. “I couldn’t come up with a solution at all. I was getting bullied left and right and I couldn’t find peace anywhere.”

Ultimately he came out as gay, found a measure of stability and married. Even so, there were plenty of rocky times growing up in the early 2000s in Pleasant View, where he still lives. And with completion of a new Encircle facility in downtown Ogden looming, it makes him wonder what life would have been like if the LGBTQ support center had been around when he was younger.

“It would’ve changed my life,” said Hadley-Hone, now an Encircle ambassador, a volunteer booster for the organization. “It would’ve been a safe space for me.”

Encircle reps and supporters broke ground on the new facility at 2458 Washington Blvd. about a year and a half ago on March 25, 2021. While the originally envisioned completion date, October 2021, has come and gone, work on the three-story facility started in earnest last May and the structure is quickly taking shape. Now, organization boosters are eager for its completion, saying it will help fill a gap in area offerings for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community and their families.

“We want to make sure every LGBTQ+ person in the community feels loved and knows there’s a place they are going to get support,” said Sean Allsop-Pukahi, the director of community engagement for Encircle, which already has facilities in Provo, Salt Lake City and St. George. Encircle officials expect the facility, taking shape in what was a vacant piece of property off busy Washington Boulevard, to be complete in early 2023.

Significantly, Allsop-Pukahi indicated that having facilities like Encircle can be a life-or-death proposition.

A study cited by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that lesbian, gay and bisexual youth in grades 7-12 were more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. The Trevor Project, a crisis intervention organization geared to LGBTQ youth, found in a study released earlier this year that 45% of LGBTQ youth had “seriously considered” suicide in the prior year.

Suicide is “the No. 1 thing we want to prevent,” Allsop-Pukahi said. “We’re in the business of saving lives.”

Sean Childers-Gray, president of the board of directors of Ogden Pride, which also advocates for the LGBTQ community, similarly acknowledged the tough situation LGBTQ youth face. He’s a backer of Encircle’s plans here.

“There is always room for more support of marginalized communities, and the LGBTQ+ community has had some of the most targeted attacks both physically and politically over the years,” Childers-Gray said. “Our transgender community members, especially, need services of support. The important part is making sure we are all available, willing and open to continuing that work. I feel that we can only win when we work together.”

‘WHO DO YOU TURN TO?’

Lori Fleming, whose daughter came out as a lesbian about four years ago, can attest to the need for groups like Encircle.

“I didn’t even know where to turn,” said Fleming, alluding to the concerns she experienced as she tried to understand what her daughter was going through. “As a parent, what do you do? Where do you go? Who do you turn to?”

Besides offering LGBTQ youth and young adults a safe space to meet and socialize, Encircle also offers therapy and support services to the LGBTQ community and their family members. Family can face their own struggles when a loved one comes out of the closet, but, significantly, involving them serves another purpose — their support can make it easier for LGBTQ youth.

Ultimately, Fleming, who lives in Riverdale and has advocated for the Ogden facility, turned to Encircle, then operating only out of Provo, where the nonprofit group launched in 2017. Though the LGBTQ community may be the central focus of Encircle, the group helped her as a parent.

“You find out that you’re not alone,” Fleming said. “People right around us, they’re going through the same thing and you never knew it.”

Hadley-Hone had no outlet as he grew up, letting his feelings fester inside as he faced bullying at school, even if he wasn’t publicly out. He and his family belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the message he took from the church is that “I could pray the gay away.” That approach proved unsuccessful, however, and the feeling that he was somehow letting down his family because of his sexuality gnawed at him.

Finally, his mom got him a dog and the animal provided the sort of acceptance he sought as he came to grips with his sexuality. “Honestly, that dog is what saved me,” he said.

His husband, Parker Hadley-Hone, had a different experience growing up in Orem. He served on the student council, took part in high school sports, even had a girlfriend for two years. “I kept it to myself, never really did anything about it,” he said.

In fact, though he was pretty sure by the age of 10 that he was gay, he doubts he would have entered a place like Encircle had there been such a group nearby during his junior high and high school years. “I think I would’ve been scared of a place like Encircle. … I was not ready to delve into that community,” he said.

Like his husband, though, he’s now an ambassador for Encircle and a big booster of the organization. Moreover, things have thawed at least somewhat for the LGBTQ community since his younger years in the 2000s, which he thinks bodes for the success of Encircle.

“But I also think it starts at the home with the family,” he went on. That is, he thinks family support — beyond whatever support groups like Encircle can provide — is key in helping LGBTQ youth.

‘DENIED AND KICKED OUT’

Not everybody will get backing from family, though, which can lead some to drugs and worse as they try to cope. Amy Miller of Syracuse, another Encircle ambassador and an ally to the LGBTQ community, has seen that sort of thing firsthand with friends from her junior high and high school years.

“I just saw my friends coming out to parents and being completely denied and kicked out,” she said. One friend — though now sober — turned to drugs, spiralling ever downward before he caught himself, and Miller thinks groups like Encircle can create a space that keeps some from taking such a destructive path.

Encircle has already held “rainbow brunches” in Ogden as the group prepares its formal launch here and Alex Hadley-Hone is already seeing the potential impact it can have. Those taking part in the brunches have their differences, even if they’re united by belonging to the LGBTQ community, but there’s also a clear sense of camaraderie.

“You’re loved, you’re accepted and it’s a very comforting and embracing feeling,” he said.

Encircle, which has received significant financial backing from Utah Jazz owners Ryan and Ashley Smith and Apple, the technology company, among others, is also planning new facilities in Heber, Logan and other locations.

Newsletter

Join thousands already receiving our daily newsletter.

Favorite