Date Lab: One is a Metro enthusiast. The other called it the ‘subway.’ – The Washington Post
Kevin has had a few “situationships” but wants to have a relationship. A “balance of communication” between two people is very important to his romantic endeavors. If he feels that he’s texting too much, he’s “learned to slow my roll and wait for people to reach out.” And a beard is a must. “Beards just draw me in,” he said.
We set him up with marketing director Will, 35, who has lived in D.C. for about a year. Will signed up for Date Lab to get back in the dating pool. “I was with my last partner for seven years and moved to D.C. for a fresh start,” he explained.
Like Kevin, Will also finds dating apps frustrating. “People text on these things for months. If you don’t want to meet in-person within two weeks, I don’t want to keep this going.” Will had three serious relationships before marrying his last partner. One thing he’s learned since his divorce is to be “upfront about what I’m looking for and what I want in a person.”
Both Kevin and Will admitted to dealing with a bout of nerves before meeting. “I don’t have the easiest time meeting people, never been on a blind date and I felt intimidated,” Kevin said. “I was deep breathing on the bus en route to dinner.”
Despite having his mom “psyche” him up, Will said he “was pacing back-and-forth” in his apartment before he walked over to the restaurant, Le Diplomate on 14th Street NW. Will said that Kevin seemed shy at first, but “I made a few jokes to loosen up. I felt like I took the lead on breaking the ice to make it less awkward, and he broke out of his shell.”
Kevin liked Will’s look. “We both put some thought in dressing to impress,” he said. “He seemed nice and nerdy — that’s a plus.” However, he would have preferred if Will were more hirsute. Kevin described his date’s facial hair as “some scruff,” not the full beard that he is usually attracted to.
Kevin did appreciate that Will took the conversational reins. “When I get nervous I get really quiet and I was worried it would get awkward,” he said. “But Will admitted he was nervous too, but has the opposite response — he talked a lot.” Apparently, Will was so chatty that Kevin had to stop him so they could look at the menu.
When Will ordered a rosé, Kevin was thrilled to follow suit. They sipped their wine and nibbled on charcuterie while getting to know each other. Will was “fascinated” by Kevin’s passion for trains and public transit. “I was very impressed that he knew all the train names,” Will noted.
Will admits that he has not mastered the Metro — “in fact I call it the subway!” Kevin was surprised that Will had used the Metro only twice, given that he’s lived here for a year. I asked him if he was offended that Will called the Metro “the subway” and he responded, “A little bit, yes,” with a laugh.
Over dinner, steak au poivre for Kevin and steak frites for Will, they discovered that they both had joined gay sports leagues in D.C. to meet people. They also both love dogs; Will shared a photo of his pooch, and Kevin reciprocated with a photo of his parents’ dog.
Kevin relayed that “Will was focused on conversation and getting to know me” during the evening. For Will, he learned more about Kevin than Kevin learned about him. “I didn’t feel that he asked a lot of questions of me,” he said.
They ate crème brûlée and wrapped up the date at 8:30 p.m. Will walked Kevin to the Metro and Will asked to exchange numbers. Then they hugged goodbye and went their separate ways.
“He texted me five minutes after the date,” Kevin said. “It was nice to meet someone who is in a totally different social circle. We have completely separate friend groups — that doesn’t happen that often in Gay D.C.”
Will agreed. “We never would have crossed paths,” he said, “and I really appreciated that we had plenty of differences. He’s a really nice guy, very genuine.”
“I’m not sure if he’s going to ask me out again,” Kevin said. “He definitely initiated asking for my number, but since it felt like a business dinner I’m not sure.” Will told me, “This is a very interesting starting point! I’d be keen on going out again in a more relaxed environment where the date isn’t being written about.”
Rate the date
Kevin: 3 [out of 5].
They texted back-and-forth but have made no plans to see each other again.
Vijai Nathan is a writer and comedian in Washington.
Editor’s note: Because of privacy and safety concerns, Date Lab allows participants to be identified only by their first names.
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