Danielle Laidley reveals AFL stars who helped her on transgender journey – Code

She is now a confident transgender woman, and she says former teammates, coaches and AFL stars have helped her on her journey.

Here are some of those stories.

MICK MALTHOUSE

The radio boxes at Marvel Stadium at Docklands are side-by-side, separated by thick glass.

On June 24, Danielle is in the Triple M box sitting at the back. Next door is Mick Malthouse in the ABC box.

Malthouse coached Danielle at West Coast and when he signed on as coach of Collingwood for the ’99 season, he asked Danielle to join him as an assistant coach. Malthouse is a fatherly figure, although he and Danielle had not seen each other for several years.

“One story encapsulates Michael Malthouse,” she says. “That night we saw each other in the media centre at Marvel, I’m in the Triple M box and he’s next door. And I didn’t see him. We’re doing some pre-game stuff and I get a tap on the shoulder and it’s Mick.

“I turn and there he is standing with his arms out and he says, ‘Give me a hug’. We had a hug and he said ‘Gee, you’re looking great, I’m really proud of you’.

“That’s the type of person Mick Malthouse is. It filled me with joy.’’

SCOTT WATTERS

It’s 2011, and Scott Watters is the newly appointed coach at St Kilda. Watters and Danielle were teammates at West Coast and an ambitious pact was made somewhere along their trails. If Watters or Danielle got a senior coaching job, the other would join as an assistant coach.

Appointed to the role, Danielle would be Dean when he was the midfield coach and would be Danielle at every other possible situation.

At the end of a messy Mad Monday at Port Melbourne Bowling Club in 2012 – Danielle was driving – drunken Saints big man Justin Koschitzke turns to her and asks: Are you a cross-dresser?

“As a transgender person, to be labelled as a cross-dresser is quite indignant, because you’re not,” she says.

“A cross-dresser is a person who likes to dress up in the clothes of the opposite sex, and it becomes a little bit of a fetish, a sexual thing, whereas transgender is not. It’s never been a sexual thing for me. It’s been times of peace and warmth and calmness, just to be myself.

“So when I get asked that I get really annoyed. When he asked me, I said, ‘Give me more credit than that, no I’m not’. And that was that.

“But, you know, and this had been going on since before I played and coached obviously, but when it was always asked who was the gay footballer, I used to hear those conversations and I would run to the hills because I was scared that people would label me either gay or a cross-dresser or whatever.

“I used to run to the hills and think, ‘Wait until you hear about me.”

Many people ask if you were gay? “No.”

A cross-dresser? “There’s a few stories, Akermanis, Koschitzke, there’s one story that’s not in there from when I was at Carlton. That sent me spiralling in that moment.”

PREMIERSHIP REUNION

Upstairs at Dimattina’s in Lygon St, Carlton, a gang of premiership Kangaroos wait to greet Danielle at a dinner organised by former Kangaroo and friend, Mark Brayshaw.

Archer, Blakey, Larkin, Crocker, Allison, Fairley and McDonald are in attendance.

It’s 2021, and it’s a significant night of reconnecting.

In the Uber, Danielle, wearing a long brown dress, films herself to help shed the anxiety.

“I’ve never been so nervous in my life,” she says. “I was in an Uber and I was sweating, and I’m thinking, ‘I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I’ve got to go home’. I got there and there were three or four people there already.

“I remember getting to the top of the stairs and this is where the humour comes into it, sort of breaks the ice, because I was nervous and so were the boys.

“They don’t know what to call you, don’t know whether to shake your hand. One of them went to shake my hand and I knocked it away and said, ‘Hey, give me a hug’. Everyone had a laugh.

“There was a time when we were sitting down and eating and I got up to go to the toilet, and I turned and said, ‘Don’t you go looking at my arse, you boys’.” Everyone laughed.

“The night was something to behold. Yes, there were tears around the table, a lot of them mine, a lot of other people’s, and to a person they just said we can see you’re happy, we want you healthy and we want you to be here, so please make sure that happens.

“I did the same thing with a bunch of West Coast boys at Bluey McKenna’s place.

“Just the empathy, warmth and care … I’ve now reconnected with all these people. I’ve spoken to more teammates and players I coached more in the past two years than I did in 20 years.”

Originally published as Danielle Laidley reveals moments of fear, inspiration as AFL stars helped her find true self