Dame Kelly Holmes feels ‘free’ and ‘happy’ after coming out as gay – Daily Mail

Earlier this year, she came out as gay after keeping her sexuality a secret for over 30 years.

And now Dame Kelly Holmes has revealed she feels ‘happy for the first time’ in her life after unravelling the fears she had of being persecuted for who she was while in the Women’s Royal Army Corps.

Speaking as a panelist on Loose Women on Friday, the Olympic gold medallist, 52, was reflecting on her 2022 where she told of how ‘everything’ has changed in her life before looking ahead to 2023.

She told her co-stars: ‘My life has changed.

‘Since doing my documentary, called Being Me, and announcing publicly that I was a gay woman, a few months ago, it’s changed everything about me,’ she said.

‘I feel free, I’m happy for the first time in my life. I’ve met so many people too.

‘Some people still don’t know, but fear is a debilitating factor of life.

‘A lot of fear is irrational, but a lot of people have fear in their life and mine was worrying that I’d still be in trouble from the military because it was against the law to be be gay while I was serving in the military.’

She also explained that the 30 years she spent hiding her secret was spent trying to ‘change the narrative in my head’ and ‘unravel’ any fears she had. 

‘It’s ok to have the conversations we have and to just talk normally,’ Kelly continued.

‘When you’re having to constantly check yourself, everything that you say and do on a day-to-day basis, because you can’t talk about a partner, you can’t talk about where you went on holiday…’

Kaye Adams then interrupted to say: ‘You probably wouldn’t have come on this show. 

Kelly agreed: ‘I don’t think I would’ve even been asked, to be honest. I’ve become more free!’

She seemed more upbeat after revealing she was ‘really, really struggling’ and has been suffering from bad mental health – leaving her unable to do sport for three months.

The two-time Olympic gold medallist has been open about her battles with mental health and the pressure she felt on her wellbeing while keeping her sexuality a secret for over 30 years.

And in recent months Kelly, who is now a panellist on Loose Women, has felt an even greater pressure on her mental health ‘for lots of reasons’ – admitting to her co-stars that she was finding dealing with things very difficult.

When asked where stress comes out of her body, Kelly said on the talk show in early December: ‘I think there’s a big correlation between mental wellbeing and physical wellbeing. I get it in cold sores. 

‘I’ve been really ill this year – everybody has this perception that I’m this Superwoman because of my sporting attributes but no.

‘I’ve been really under pressure mentally for lots of reasons and it comes out in my body for sure.

‘I’ve had the worst back problems, I was in hospital yesterday having steroid injections in my back. Every illness that’s come out – as soon as I get Covid, I’m ill. I’ve got this chest infection, I’m ill. Cold sores, the lot. 

‘When people are stressed, by whatever means, it comes out in their physical being.’

Hosting the panel, Kaye Adams says to Kelly: ‘It must be hard for you though being that you’ve had a lifetime of being perceived as Superwoman, and you probably had taken great pride in your health to a certain extent.’

Kelly adds: ‘It really affects me, it really affects my mental health.

‘Mental health isn’t a buzzword, I’ve been talking about it since 2005.’

She went on to explain that sport has been her saviour in keeping her wellbeing in check – but because of the stress she has recently felt manifesting itself into ill physical health, she has been unable to keep active for three months.

‘My mental health has never been great since I had my first breakdown,’ Kelly detailed.

‘And sport or fitness or being active is who I am. I haven’t been able to do it for about three months.

‘It really, really affects me. 

‘You sometimes have to help ourselves, of course we have to find ways to look after our health a bit more, take time off which I’m not good at.

‘But yeah, I’m really struggling. I have to say. I’m really, really struggling.’

It comes two weeks after Kelly admitted that she didn’t know how she would ever meet a lesbian before coming out as gay, and feared potential love interests might ‘want to go public.’ 

The athlete, 52, was speaking on Loose Women when she discussed how difficult it was for her to pursue romantic relationships when her sexuality was a closely guarded secret. 

Discussing if you can ever be too in love, Kelly mused: ‘I’ve had different circumstances as I wasn’t out, so my relationships have been… 

‘I didn’t know how to meet people or how I would ever meet a gay woman as I couldn’t publicly do it.

In June, Kelly first spoke about her sexuality as she declared she ‘finally felt free’ after years of living a ‘secret’ life.

The Olympic runner admitted she was ‘fully aware’ of rumours about her sexual orientation but is now happy to be coming out ‘on her own terms’.

Speaking to the Mirror, she said: ‘There have been lots of dark times where I wished I could scream that I am gay – but I couldn’t.’

‘I needed to do this now, for me. It was my decision. I’m nervous about saying it. I feel like I’m going to explode with excitement. Sometimes I cry with relief. The moment this comes out, I’m essentially getting rid of that fear.’ 

Dame Kelly confirmed she has a partner but didn’t want to give any further details, admitting it is the first time she hasn’t introduced someone as a ‘friend or PA’.

She explained how her family and close friends have known for years she is gay but she worried about being in trouble for breaching retrospective rules in the Forces.

Favorite