World Gay News

Brian Dowling and his husband have received anti-gay messages since welcome daughter via surrogate – Daily Mail

Brian Dowling has told how there has been ‘so much homophobia’ directed at him and his husband since they had a baby via surrogate.

The former Big Brother star, 44, and his partner Arthur Gourounlian welcomed their daughter Blake in September, with Brian’s sister Aoife carrying the baby.

The couple have been open about their surrogacy journey, with Brian telling how a side effect has been they have received numerous homophobic messages as well as constant queries as to which one of them is the biological father.

Heartbreaking: Brian Dowling has told how there has been 'so much homophobia' directed at him and his husband since they had a baby via surrogate

Heartbreaking: Brian Dowling has told how there has been 'so much homophobia' directed at him and his husband since they had a baby via surrogate

Heartbreaking: Brian Dowling has told how there has been ‘so much homophobia’ directed at him and his husband since they had a baby via surrogate

Speaking on Kate Ferdinand’s Blended podcast, he said: ‘There’s been a lot of shaming. The amount of homophobia that Arthur and I… it’s been so odd. Aoife also put herself out there publicly.’

Brian spoke about his frustration over feeling like he had to seek permission from others to have a family, given the lack of legislation around surrogacy in Ireland.

He said: ‘Our journey to parenthood is very unique and with the lack of leglisation in Ireland, who dictates who can have families and who doesn’t? 

‘I remember coming out in 2001 and we couldn’t get married, there was the (marriage) referendum in 2015. Who dictates that I can get married? 

Family: The former Big Brother star, 44, and his partner Arthur Gourounlian welcomed their daughter Blake in September, with Brian's sister Aoife carrying the baby

Family: The former Big Brother star, 44, and his partner Arthur Gourounlian welcomed their daughter Blake in September, with Brian's sister Aoife carrying the baby

Family: The former Big Brother star, 44, and his partner Arthur Gourounlian welcomed their daughter Blake in September, with Brian’s sister Aoife carrying the baby

‘Who dictates when I can have my family? I just thought no, we’re going to do this. There were times we did pull back where if we were doing an interview or something I’d say, can you avoid those questions.’

He added: ‘There was interest regarding who the dad is. I get messages everyday. People are obsessed with DNA and biology.’

Brian explained that while Aoife carried the baby, she is not the biological mother as they used an egg donor from Portugal.

Speaking about his appreciation for his sister and what she did for him and Arthur, Brian said he looks at her ‘so differently’ now.

Brian said: 'There's been a lot of shaming. The amount of homophobia that Arthur and I... it's been so odd'

Brian said: 'There's been a lot of shaming. The amount of homophobia that Arthur and I... it's been so odd'

Brian said: ‘There’s been a lot of shaming. The amount of homophobia that Arthur and I… it’s been so odd’ 

He said: ‘Aoife never thought the baby was hers. Aoife knows it’s her niece. We have eight other nieces and nephews and it’s the exact same relationship. 

‘When we made this public, we got all this stuff like, how could she give her baby away? Shameful. She was like, it’s not my baby. Aoife doesn’t think motherhood is for her but as a woman, she wanted to experience pregnancy. 

‘She was very emotional when she gave birth. She always wanted a C-section, that was from the get go. The whole thing of a long labour but a C-section it’s more clinical. We were there with her and knew the date and time.  

‘There was a moment we had the baby with Aoife and we held Blake quickly and she said, you go, I’ve got this. She was physically cut open and was bleeding and I thought, she’s so vulnerable now in hospital and she’s telling me go. I thought, how brave is she? 

Special moment: The reality star shared a shot from inside the delivery room, with the couple grabbing on to Brian's sister Aoife, who was their surrogate, moments after she had given birth

Special moment: The reality star shared a shot from inside the delivery room, with the couple grabbing on to Brian's sister Aoife, who was their surrogate, moments after she had given birth

Special moment: The reality star shared a shot from inside the delivery room, with the couple grabbing on to Brian’s sister Aoife, who was their surrogate, moments after she had given birth

‘I look at her so differently. She could tap me for anything at this point and she hasn’t.’ 

Brian told how he and Arthur’s conversation about having children started when they were living back at his childhood home in 2020 due to Covid.

He said: ‘In 2020 we were back living in mum and dad’s in the room I had as a child with my husband, it was the oddest thing. Covid gave us time to stop. 

‘It gave us time to take a breath. It was the time to go, what do we want? And we realised we want a family. 

‘My sisters had always said I’ll do it for you in a jokey way but the one who always said it really persistently was my sister Aoife.’

How does surrogacy work and what are the laws in the UK?

Surrogacy is when a woman carries a baby for a couple who are unable to conceive or carry a child themselves. 

Such couples may include those who have suffered recurrent miscarriages, repeated IVF failures, premature menopause or a hysterectomy. 

The risks of being a surrogate mother are the same as for every pregnancy, and include nausea, heart burn and back ache.

In extreme cases, surrogates can suffer high blood pressure or gestational diabetes.  

Straight surrogacy

This involves using the surrogate’s egg and the intended father’s sperm.

It is the least expensive and simplest form of the procedure.

Host surrogacy

Host surrogacy requires IVF with either the intended mother’s eggs or donor eggs rather than those of the surrogate.

In this case, the surrogate is genetically unrelated to the baby. 

Donor eggs can be from friends or relatives, or anonymously donated. 

What are the laws? 

Surrogacy is legal in the UK, however, it cannot be advertised.

No third parties are allowed to be involved and surrogates can only receive payments to cover expenses incurred as a result of being pregnant. 

In the US, surrogacy costs around $100,000 (£75,879), with laws varying between states. 

Source: Surrogacy UK